Wouldn't you know that it would happen on the very LAST batch of butter crunch? Emma (11) was helping me to spread the hot toffee onto the cookie sheets when her knuckles grazed the 310 F mixture. I knew from experience that she would have a second degree burn and I acted quickly to minimize the damage. As she ran cool water over her hand, I began to prepare cotton balls drenched in Witch Hazel.
Growing up, we always had an aloe plant in the kitchen to help treat burns. Just rip off a spiny leaf and squeeze the gooey liquid onto the burn. It has wonderful healing properties for the skin, but I never felt that it helped deal with the PAIN. That's why Witch Hazel is my remedy of choice for the immediate effects of the burn, and aloe can come in later to do it's job once the pain is gone.
So back to Emma. I placed the cotton balls dripping with Witch Hazel onto her fingers and taped them on with medical tape. I had her sit down for a minute while I finished the butter crunch. But, in my nervousness at seeing my child injured, I kept asking her, "How are you doing? Are you feeling any pain?" She would reply with a confused expression, "I don't know why you are so worried, it doesn't hurt." I knew what she didn't, that as soon as the initial Witch Hazel wore off and needed to be refreshed, she would begin to feel the pain. In fact, that is how you know that it is time to change it out, because when it is fresh, you don't feel the burn. WONDERFUL thing Witch Hazel. So she continued to refresh the cotton balls with Witch Hazel for the next 4-5 hours. By then, she had some lovely blisters on her fingers, and we moved to the aloe/herbal lotion stage.
Not only does Witch Hazel take away the pain of a burn, but it actual works to slow down the damage to the tissue, and speeds the healing process. That is why it is an excellent first responder to the minor burn, and why it has a home in our kitchen.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
The Gift of Kindness
By now, many of us have spent time with extended family or will be doing so shortly. What is about family that tends to bring out the raw nerves in us? I have seen many families who enjoy participating in the yearly resurrection of past wrongs and childhood mistakes. You know, the kind that make you feel trapped in the cage of the person you once were. You have since strived to put that away and be a new creation, but some families love to remind you of the past...and even chuckle over it. Surely there is room to laugh at ourselves and be light-hearted...but that should be reserved for those funny embarrassing moments that don't openly expose deep character flaws for the group to review.
What to do when those moment occur? Carefully bring out your blue-prints of the enemy's camp and plan your counterattack with skill and precision? You know that you could expose and wound your opponent with ease...but if you are a follower of Jesus, then you know this option is out. You know that to add fuel to the fire will not truly vindicate you or give you the satisfaction you crave. I have found in the past few years that I can choose to give a gift in those moments that will begin the foundation of a new pattern of relating...I can give the gift of "kindness". I can choose to answer softly, lightly, and with the others best interest in my heart.
You know the buttons to push that will grate, but you can step back and make just a tiny bit more effort to find out what pleases that family member, and strive to give them joy. In a special effort to serve them, by bringing them coffee or a blanket to snuggle in. Or in the giant effort to think the best of their actions and words. This takes more strength of character, for the mind is where the battle truly takes place.
I've thought much about these encounters over the years, (some more successful than others) and it has made me me especially careful in our little family to do what I once read in a children's reader, "To move quickly into the light." This simply means that in our house, when someone lies, steal chocolate from a sister, breaks a toy, or is unkind in any way, we deal with the issue quickly, and upon seeing repentance, we move quickly into restoration. We don't continue to bring up past sins to remind our children of their weaknesses. Only on rare occasions is there a need to bring up a past problem....when there is an obvious pattern that needs to be broken, and the bringing up of a past lesson serves as a reminder to move on past that flaw.
This is another gift of kindness that we can give to our children. Children change and grow and build character at a much faster rate than adults. Their ways are more pliable and mold-able. But, if we think in our hearts that little Johnny has trouble with lying, and will not be able to get past that, then rest assured that little Johnny will live up to your expectation! Let us give our children the gift of kindness in our thoughts, giving them opportunity after opportunity to do the right thing. And let our speech, especially in groups, be on focused on the good, and not the weak in their character. Then, your child will know that her heart is safe with you.
What to do when those moment occur? Carefully bring out your blue-prints of the enemy's camp and plan your counterattack with skill and precision? You know that you could expose and wound your opponent with ease...but if you are a follower of Jesus, then you know this option is out. You know that to add fuel to the fire will not truly vindicate you or give you the satisfaction you crave. I have found in the past few years that I can choose to give a gift in those moments that will begin the foundation of a new pattern of relating...I can give the gift of "kindness". I can choose to answer softly, lightly, and with the others best interest in my heart.
You know the buttons to push that will grate, but you can step back and make just a tiny bit more effort to find out what pleases that family member, and strive to give them joy. In a special effort to serve them, by bringing them coffee or a blanket to snuggle in. Or in the giant effort to think the best of their actions and words. This takes more strength of character, for the mind is where the battle truly takes place.
I've thought much about these encounters over the years, (some more successful than others) and it has made me me especially careful in our little family to do what I once read in a children's reader, "To move quickly into the light." This simply means that in our house, when someone lies, steal chocolate from a sister, breaks a toy, or is unkind in any way, we deal with the issue quickly, and upon seeing repentance, we move quickly into restoration. We don't continue to bring up past sins to remind our children of their weaknesses. Only on rare occasions is there a need to bring up a past problem....when there is an obvious pattern that needs to be broken, and the bringing up of a past lesson serves as a reminder to move on past that flaw.
This is another gift of kindness that we can give to our children. Children change and grow and build character at a much faster rate than adults. Their ways are more pliable and mold-able. But, if we think in our hearts that little Johnny has trouble with lying, and will not be able to get past that, then rest assured that little Johnny will live up to your expectation! Let us give our children the gift of kindness in our thoughts, giving them opportunity after opportunity to do the right thing. And let our speech, especially in groups, be on focused on the good, and not the weak in their character. Then, your child will know that her heart is safe with you.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
It's a Wonderful Life
I admit it, I am a "Wonderful Life" kind of gal. We watch it every year together, and I STILL get teary eyed when Harry comes in with a toast to his brother George, "To my brother George, the richest man in town." ~Cue streaming tears down my cheek~
Why does that get me so? Well I've thought about it, and here it is:
George Bailey, a man with big dreams and an adventurous spirit, lived a life of dying to self to benefit others. Sometimes he went down kicking and screaming, and sometimes he died gracefully, but he counted others as better than himself. He sacrificed wealth, a booming career, and travel to love those who needed him to stay in town and care for them. What a noble life! So why did he doubt it was all in vain when things got tough? Couldn't he see what a difference he was making in the lives of those around him?
That's the thing about living like George Bailey, the little daily deaths become routine, and begin to slip by unnoticed to the one dying. It becomes a way of life, and sometimes it can grow wearisome, thankless and the worst of all seemingly insignificant. But you moms out there wouldn't know anything about THAT, now would you? Many of you stay at home types, are sacrificing a second income that would come in mighty handy this time of year...but you counted the cost and chose to invest that time in the lives that need you by being there. Many of you working mothers are dying to self to put food on the table, making sacrifices of sleep and time to make sure those who count on you have the basic needs. No matter what you have chosen, a mother is in the role of dying to self daily, multiple times a day....diapers, dish washers, laundry, reading books, picking up toys, trading out seasonal clothes, taking stock and getting the new needs for the season, helping with homework, or planning the homeschool curriculum, making meals, training character, teaching about the love of Christ...and the list goes on.
There are times when you work all day and feel that no one even noticed what you did, and you feel small, and worthless. Those are the dangerous moments, when you think...what if I had a career and no children? Wouldn't my gifts be better used for society if I wasn't being a maid and a nanny?
I think that is why Harry Bailey's toast gets me so...George isn't the richest man in town because everyone has just brought him the money he needed to pay the bank...NO, he is rich because all those little deaths he died daily, brought forth a harvest of a 100 fold in the lives around him, and made him blessed with friends and family. More than if he had gone off and had a successful career, and made some BIG contribution to society. (at least as notoriety goes)
We may not be given the gift to see life as it would be without us...but we can trust in the scriptures that encourage us to pick up our cross and follow Jesus. When we choose to play a pretend game with our child that makes NO sense what-so-ever, or allow her to help wrap a present, even though it will take twice as long, or get up to make 3 more meals to nourish and build up their little bodies...we are making an eternal investment that will have an exponential impact beyond our comprehension....even if it is never noticed in the papers, or given great awards of accolades.....but then, Jesus came into the world without fanfare, and when he died on the cross it was between two thieves...hardly a claim to fame....but time was split, and eternity bought into our grasp....
...and He is our Great example, our Savior, who died to himself that we might live.
Merry Christmas Dear Ones!
Why does that get me so? Well I've thought about it, and here it is:
George Bailey, a man with big dreams and an adventurous spirit, lived a life of dying to self to benefit others. Sometimes he went down kicking and screaming, and sometimes he died gracefully, but he counted others as better than himself. He sacrificed wealth, a booming career, and travel to love those who needed him to stay in town and care for them. What a noble life! So why did he doubt it was all in vain when things got tough? Couldn't he see what a difference he was making in the lives of those around him?
That's the thing about living like George Bailey, the little daily deaths become routine, and begin to slip by unnoticed to the one dying. It becomes a way of life, and sometimes it can grow wearisome, thankless and the worst of all seemingly insignificant. But you moms out there wouldn't know anything about THAT, now would you? Many of you stay at home types, are sacrificing a second income that would come in mighty handy this time of year...but you counted the cost and chose to invest that time in the lives that need you by being there. Many of you working mothers are dying to self to put food on the table, making sacrifices of sleep and time to make sure those who count on you have the basic needs. No matter what you have chosen, a mother is in the role of dying to self daily, multiple times a day....diapers, dish washers, laundry, reading books, picking up toys, trading out seasonal clothes, taking stock and getting the new needs for the season, helping with homework, or planning the homeschool curriculum, making meals, training character, teaching about the love of Christ...and the list goes on.
There are times when you work all day and feel that no one even noticed what you did, and you feel small, and worthless. Those are the dangerous moments, when you think...what if I had a career and no children? Wouldn't my gifts be better used for society if I wasn't being a maid and a nanny?
I think that is why Harry Bailey's toast gets me so...George isn't the richest man in town because everyone has just brought him the money he needed to pay the bank...NO, he is rich because all those little deaths he died daily, brought forth a harvest of a 100 fold in the lives around him, and made him blessed with friends and family. More than if he had gone off and had a successful career, and made some BIG contribution to society. (at least as notoriety goes)
We may not be given the gift to see life as it would be without us...but we can trust in the scriptures that encourage us to pick up our cross and follow Jesus. When we choose to play a pretend game with our child that makes NO sense what-so-ever, or allow her to help wrap a present, even though it will take twice as long, or get up to make 3 more meals to nourish and build up their little bodies...we are making an eternal investment that will have an exponential impact beyond our comprehension....even if it is never noticed in the papers, or given great awards of accolades.....but then, Jesus came into the world without fanfare, and when he died on the cross it was between two thieves...hardly a claim to fame....but time was split, and eternity bought into our grasp....
...and He is our Great example, our Savior, who died to himself that we might live.
Merry Christmas Dear Ones!
Friday, December 17, 2010
When I Wake Up, Will You Play a Game With Me?
For the past week or so my 3yro has been making a request of me at every bedtime, nap or night. She looks at me and asks, "When I wake up, will you play a game with me?" So sweet, and yet there is something about it that pierces my heart every time she says it. I began to think it through a bit, and I believe I'm starting to understand the root of my uneasiness.
A few years back I had less children, younger children. I made more time to play games with them, sit and read picture books with them, color with them. But now, I seem to be caught up in a whirlwind of activity. Homeschooling has progressed past the early elementary years for some of my girls, and I have seemed to progress with them. But Caroline is still 3 years old. She still needs color time, reading time, playful pretend time. I'm so thankful that she is the kind of girl to come grab my hand and say, "Come on Mama, let's go ..."
I'm afraid if she wasn't much of a squeaky wheel that she wouldn't get much grease. In my mind, I've moved on past the baby/toddler years. I'm getting into the pre-teen years, as I follow my oldest along. I know that laying the foundation with the oldest makes for a smoother path for the rest, but I have caught myself being less careful about my youngest's training and development. I've been asking the older girls to do a good portion of her care recently. I think this is helpful in their development of skills, but I have to be careful not to use that as an excuse to be lazy either.
So yesterday, I played pretend with her, even though I was cooking and overseeing the homeschool day. I stopped to be her horse and carry her around. Before she went down for a nap, we played a board game together, with the promise of a re-match when she got up. We looked at a picture book, and we tied strings...heart strings. Whenever I find that my training has reached a wall, or an incredibly steep incline, I have to stop and remember to tie some heart strings.
I have noticed over the years that when I really invest time in my child's life, that we grow closer, develop bonds that I like to call "heart strings". (I got this from Michael and Debi Pearl and the No Greater Joy ministry.) It goes without saying, that the more strings attached, the stronger the bond between us. When that bond is strong, it can withstand the strain of discipline and character training more gracefully than when there are few strings to keep hearts close.
So today, I hope I remember to take time in the midst of MY busy-ness to tie those strings... (right now, as I type, the 3 yro is the first up and on my lap, helping me push the keys...it takes longer, but at least we are doing it together...and she is learning her alphabet too. :) )
A few years back I had less children, younger children. I made more time to play games with them, sit and read picture books with them, color with them. But now, I seem to be caught up in a whirlwind of activity. Homeschooling has progressed past the early elementary years for some of my girls, and I have seemed to progress with them. But Caroline is still 3 years old. She still needs color time, reading time, playful pretend time. I'm so thankful that she is the kind of girl to come grab my hand and say, "Come on Mama, let's go ..."
I'm afraid if she wasn't much of a squeaky wheel that she wouldn't get much grease. In my mind, I've moved on past the baby/toddler years. I'm getting into the pre-teen years, as I follow my oldest along. I know that laying the foundation with the oldest makes for a smoother path for the rest, but I have caught myself being less careful about my youngest's training and development. I've been asking the older girls to do a good portion of her care recently. I think this is helpful in their development of skills, but I have to be careful not to use that as an excuse to be lazy either.
So yesterday, I played pretend with her, even though I was cooking and overseeing the homeschool day. I stopped to be her horse and carry her around. Before she went down for a nap, we played a board game together, with the promise of a re-match when she got up. We looked at a picture book, and we tied strings...heart strings. Whenever I find that my training has reached a wall, or an incredibly steep incline, I have to stop and remember to tie some heart strings.
I have noticed over the years that when I really invest time in my child's life, that we grow closer, develop bonds that I like to call "heart strings". (I got this from Michael and Debi Pearl and the No Greater Joy ministry.) It goes without saying, that the more strings attached, the stronger the bond between us. When that bond is strong, it can withstand the strain of discipline and character training more gracefully than when there are few strings to keep hearts close.
So today, I hope I remember to take time in the midst of MY busy-ness to tie those strings... (right now, as I type, the 3 yro is the first up and on my lap, helping me push the keys...it takes longer, but at least we are doing it together...and she is learning her alphabet too. :) )
Monday, December 13, 2010
AHH... Quiet Hour....How I LOVE You!
Being organized is a relative thing, so I've come to observe. I used to think that I was pretty organized, at least on a functional level, until I married the SUPREME ORGANIZER. It's funny, because Ryan is not a neat freak, but when it comes down to organizing time or information, he's your man!
I really couldn't function without his amazing abilities. At the beginning of each semester we sit down and have a little "pow-wow" about the "State of the Family." We discuss the things that did and didn't work from the previous semester of schooling, and we take into account the changing needs of each daughter as she progresses into a new phase of responsibility in her education, character, and home skills. We also discuss my sanity level, and what I need to make it through the day.
Well "Mr. Amazing" out did himself this past semester by implementing the "Quiet Hour" into my afternoon...you know the time of day when you feel the energy slipping out of you through your toes. Well by 2pm I'm pretty much done; done with schooling, done with 3 yro (she's down for a nap then ;) ), done with the limit of words I can intake and process in a day. I need re-fueling. I need peace. I need time to reflect, read the Bible, pray, and get creative again. So Ryan scheduled a quiet hour from 2-3pm every day. The girls are allowed to quietly play...NO TALKING! And I get a chance to stop and re-fuel.
It is bliss...and you would think that it would be the one hour of the day I would guard with all my might....but in the last few weeks with all the holiday madness I have totally forgotten to hold QUIET HOUR...AM I insane? When things get the craziest, that 's when I need that hour the MOST! Then why, if it is so precious do I throw it away trying to get more work done? An exhausted work horse can only do so much without rest. Do I really think I can do it all, EVERYDAY, without re-fueling? Apparently so...and THAT may be why I have been so easily flustered and agitated the last few weeks...ya think?
Want to know what's even funnier about all of this? Today Dawson county schools were closed for a dusting of snow (gotta love GA) ...and my teacher husband, now at home, said at lunch..."AND there WILL be a quiet hour...or longer...Mama calls it" I had totally forgotten about Quiet Hour until just then... and a fiendish Grinchy grin came over my face, and I realized what a resource I had all along that I hadn't been using. What other resources am I forgetting to implement into my life? How about you?
AHH....QUIET HOUR....how I've missed you, how I NEED you, how I LOVE YOU!
I really couldn't function without his amazing abilities. At the beginning of each semester we sit down and have a little "pow-wow" about the "State of the Family." We discuss the things that did and didn't work from the previous semester of schooling, and we take into account the changing needs of each daughter as she progresses into a new phase of responsibility in her education, character, and home skills. We also discuss my sanity level, and what I need to make it through the day.
Well "Mr. Amazing" out did himself this past semester by implementing the "Quiet Hour" into my afternoon...you know the time of day when you feel the energy slipping out of you through your toes. Well by 2pm I'm pretty much done; done with schooling, done with 3 yro (she's down for a nap then ;) ), done with the limit of words I can intake and process in a day. I need re-fueling. I need peace. I need time to reflect, read the Bible, pray, and get creative again. So Ryan scheduled a quiet hour from 2-3pm every day. The girls are allowed to quietly play...NO TALKING! And I get a chance to stop and re-fuel.
It is bliss...and you would think that it would be the one hour of the day I would guard with all my might....but in the last few weeks with all the holiday madness I have totally forgotten to hold QUIET HOUR...AM I insane? When things get the craziest, that 's when I need that hour the MOST! Then why, if it is so precious do I throw it away trying to get more work done? An exhausted work horse can only do so much without rest. Do I really think I can do it all, EVERYDAY, without re-fueling? Apparently so...and THAT may be why I have been so easily flustered and agitated the last few weeks...ya think?
Want to know what's even funnier about all of this? Today Dawson county schools were closed for a dusting of snow (gotta love GA) ...and my teacher husband, now at home, said at lunch..."AND there WILL be a quiet hour...or longer...Mama calls it" I had totally forgotten about Quiet Hour until just then... and a fiendish Grinchy grin came over my face, and I realized what a resource I had all along that I hadn't been using. What other resources am I forgetting to implement into my life? How about you?
AHH....QUIET HOUR....how I've missed you, how I NEED you, how I LOVE YOU!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
"THE" Stockings
It's not just the simple beauty of the stockings that makes me so happy when I look at them. It's the love, thought and time with which they were created, and the loaded memories of past Christmases mixed with the hope of Christmases "future" that fill them and delight me every year I pull them out of the decoration box.
This year, I pulled them out to find that a mouse had tried to take some of Ryan's stocking to make a nest. NOT COOL MR. MOUSE! (He had come like the moths to steal and destroy something I hold dear.) The girls ran to me crying, "There's a hole in Papa's stocking!" I was glad to see that it was a small one, easily repaired, and I set down and righted the wrong instantly.
But, the incident made me think..."Who else knows how to make "THE" stockings?" I never took the time to learn. AH! MY EMMA! She is the resident knitter, and she is the one to take on the tradition.
It's tempting as a homeschool mom to feel the pressure to be everything my children need...mother, teacher, friend. I'm with them ALL the time, shouldn't I be able to teach them all they should know? NO! What a burden! What a vanity! What a dis-service to my children!
I am not able to teach my girls everything they need to know, or want to know. I have given up that ideal. However, I am able to find them the teachers who CAN pass on the things I never learned, or at least give them tools they need to find out HOW to learn what they desire to know.
My step-mother has sent the pattern, and will work with Emma when we visit them. The steps have been taken and the tradition will be passed on to a new generation to enjoy.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Homemade Gifts
Several years ago when we were just starting a home studio, we had less than a little money. We decided to make a good many of the gifts that we gave each other and our girls. Here are some of the gifts we made...we STILL get requests from the girls to do more of these:
1. Make a "Mama" or "Papa" tape...We had a tape recorder and we would make a special tape for each child. On it we would sing hymns, and read favorite books, sing counting songs, or alphabet songs, and leave them special messages just from us. This was not only a gift to the child, but a gift to Mama or Papa, too. When the girls were young, I could let them have some time to listen to their special tape. This would encourage their learning, and give me some extra moments to get something done, or spend time schooling an older child. I would like to figure out how to get a new special recording for each girl onto our itouch for them to listen to this year. Maybe I could read them poetry, or older stories, etc.
2. Buttercrunch, or other homemade family goody. Everyone one of our girls requested a bag of homemade buttercrunch for Christmas this year. Sometimes I think that homemade goodies are more fun to get in your stocking because you can't get them in a store. Demand and supply, and the such. ;)
3. Last year I took the, then 5 yro old aside and instead of going to the dollar store to pick out presents for everyone, I helped her make HUGE snowflake shaped iced, sugar cookies from scratch. We wrapped them up carefully and hid them in the freezer. And she brought them out for everyone on Christmas. She was so delighted with her gift...and so was everyone else!
4. A few years ago I took my oldest daughter to the fabric shop and she picked out a yard or two of patterned flannel for each sister and cousin. Everyone got a unique fabric. Then, with a VERY simple pattern, Emma sewed each child a pillow case of her own on the sewing machine. It was a simple, but sweet gift from a 9 yro.
5. Putting together an organizer for your spouse's needs...maybe scripture memory, maybe coupons (Ryan put together a system for my coupons last year), or anything else they need help organizing. It takes more thought than cash, and sometimes that makes it more valuable.
What are some of the homemade gifts that have been a success in your home?
1. Make a "Mama" or "Papa" tape...We had a tape recorder and we would make a special tape for each child. On it we would sing hymns, and read favorite books, sing counting songs, or alphabet songs, and leave them special messages just from us. This was not only a gift to the child, but a gift to Mama or Papa, too. When the girls were young, I could let them have some time to listen to their special tape. This would encourage their learning, and give me some extra moments to get something done, or spend time schooling an older child. I would like to figure out how to get a new special recording for each girl onto our itouch for them to listen to this year. Maybe I could read them poetry, or older stories, etc.
2. Buttercrunch, or other homemade family goody. Everyone one of our girls requested a bag of homemade buttercrunch for Christmas this year. Sometimes I think that homemade goodies are more fun to get in your stocking because you can't get them in a store. Demand and supply, and the such. ;)
3. Last year I took the, then 5 yro old aside and instead of going to the dollar store to pick out presents for everyone, I helped her make HUGE snowflake shaped iced, sugar cookies from scratch. We wrapped them up carefully and hid them in the freezer. And she brought them out for everyone on Christmas. She was so delighted with her gift...and so was everyone else!
4. A few years ago I took my oldest daughter to the fabric shop and she picked out a yard or two of patterned flannel for each sister and cousin. Everyone got a unique fabric. Then, with a VERY simple pattern, Emma sewed each child a pillow case of her own on the sewing machine. It was a simple, but sweet gift from a 9 yro.
5. Putting together an organizer for your spouse's needs...maybe scripture memory, maybe coupons (Ryan put together a system for my coupons last year), or anything else they need help organizing. It takes more thought than cash, and sometimes that makes it more valuable.
What are some of the homemade gifts that have been a success in your home?
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Sweet Reminder
I don't know about you, but I tend to get a little flustered when things do not go according to MY plan.
Let's take Monday for example. We were scheduled to get a delivery from Rooms to Go for a set of Bunk Beds that our girls have been waiting for us to get them for over 10 months. It has taken us a long time to find just the right set up and deal and we were so excited that they were finally arriving.
A few nights before, Ryan had taken apart the old bunk beds (twin over twin) to make way for the new (twin over full) so three girls had been camping out on their bedroom floor. We were recovering from a big charity event that we had been planning for months that had taken place the evening before. The delivery truck was to arrive between the hours of 8 am and 12 pm, so I was letting our crew sleep in a little. At 7:45 the delivery truck pulled up our driveway and I ran like a wild woman through the house waking up the girls, telling them to get dressed, and pulling up the bedding they were using on the floor where the new beds were going to go. THEY WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE THAT EARLY...it wasn't in my plan.
After a few minutes of dusting off my rusty Spanish in listening to the two delivery men discuss something outside my daughters' bedroom, I realized our problem. The steps leading up the side of the new beds wouldn't round the corner AND make it into the door of the bedroom prepared to receive them. NO!!! NO, NO, NO!!!! That was NOT what I wanted to hear. It quickly became apparent to me that we were going to have to switch the girl's bedrooms around. The steps would fit into the other room because there wasn't a corner blocking the entrance. SO We then had to take my older daughters' "pack rat" room to pieces and pull out their beds and ALL THE STUFF STORED UNDER THEM....out into our living room.
The men set up the new beds in the room that fit, but NOT in the room I had prepared....and NOW I was really flustered...kids hadn't eaten breakfast, the dishes were partly in and out of the dishwasher, and my day was blown. Forget about trying to school now. We had to plan our trip from one end of the house to the other ducking in and out of the older girls' bed frames just to go to the bathroom. The men had blocked the kid's bathroom with the mattresses from the older girls' beds...and THEN they left me...they didn't set the older girls' beds up for me in the other room before they left. They put in the new bunks and then left me 5 kids and all the chaos.
Now, that would be enough to stress me out, but add to it that evening's Band and Chorus Concert for my husband and now I am running errands all over town picking up tux pants for a student here, and plastic forks and knives for the desserts afterward, there...and you get the picture. I couldn't even begin to deal with the chaos that was in my home...not good. Distracted Mama makes for a snappy Mama, and I needed the Lord to place a guard not only over my mouth, but over my thoughts...because we speak that which is in our hearts.
Well I was done by the end of the concert that evening, and we still had to set up the beds for the older girls before they could got to sleep. They could have slept on the floor, but I wanted to put their beds up because they had been so especially great in agreeing to change rooms SO suddenly. (when I KNEW they didn't want to.)
Exhausted, and ready to crash, I walked up the steps to the new bunks to tuck in Laura (8), up WAY past her bedtime. I gave her a kiss, and she asked if we were going to do school the next day. I said, "Honey, Mama has to worry about how to get everything back in order tomorrow." Then it happened...the scripture that Laura has been hiding in her heart came out, and she admonished and encouraged me all at once. Smiling, she sweetly said, "Mama, 'Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.' Mat 6:34"
Out of the mouths of babes... :)
Let's take Monday for example. We were scheduled to get a delivery from Rooms to Go for a set of Bunk Beds that our girls have been waiting for us to get them for over 10 months. It has taken us a long time to find just the right set up and deal and we were so excited that they were finally arriving.
A few nights before, Ryan had taken apart the old bunk beds (twin over twin) to make way for the new (twin over full) so three girls had been camping out on their bedroom floor. We were recovering from a big charity event that we had been planning for months that had taken place the evening before. The delivery truck was to arrive between the hours of 8 am and 12 pm, so I was letting our crew sleep in a little. At 7:45 the delivery truck pulled up our driveway and I ran like a wild woman through the house waking up the girls, telling them to get dressed, and pulling up the bedding they were using on the floor where the new beds were going to go. THEY WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE THAT EARLY...it wasn't in my plan.
After a few minutes of dusting off my rusty Spanish in listening to the two delivery men discuss something outside my daughters' bedroom, I realized our problem. The steps leading up the side of the new beds wouldn't round the corner AND make it into the door of the bedroom prepared to receive them. NO!!! NO, NO, NO!!!! That was NOT what I wanted to hear. It quickly became apparent to me that we were going to have to switch the girl's bedrooms around. The steps would fit into the other room because there wasn't a corner blocking the entrance. SO We then had to take my older daughters' "pack rat" room to pieces and pull out their beds and ALL THE STUFF STORED UNDER THEM....out into our living room.
The men set up the new beds in the room that fit, but NOT in the room I had prepared....and NOW I was really flustered...kids hadn't eaten breakfast, the dishes were partly in and out of the dishwasher, and my day was blown. Forget about trying to school now. We had to plan our trip from one end of the house to the other ducking in and out of the older girls' bed frames just to go to the bathroom. The men had blocked the kid's bathroom with the mattresses from the older girls' beds...and THEN they left me...they didn't set the older girls' beds up for me in the other room before they left. They put in the new bunks and then left me 5 kids and all the chaos.
Now, that would be enough to stress me out, but add to it that evening's Band and Chorus Concert for my husband and now I am running errands all over town picking up tux pants for a student here, and plastic forks and knives for the desserts afterward, there...and you get the picture. I couldn't even begin to deal with the chaos that was in my home...not good. Distracted Mama makes for a snappy Mama, and I needed the Lord to place a guard not only over my mouth, but over my thoughts...because we speak that which is in our hearts.
Well I was done by the end of the concert that evening, and we still had to set up the beds for the older girls before they could got to sleep. They could have slept on the floor, but I wanted to put their beds up because they had been so especially great in agreeing to change rooms SO suddenly. (when I KNEW they didn't want to.)
Exhausted, and ready to crash, I walked up the steps to the new bunks to tuck in Laura (8), up WAY past her bedtime. I gave her a kiss, and she asked if we were going to do school the next day. I said, "Honey, Mama has to worry about how to get everything back in order tomorrow." Then it happened...the scripture that Laura has been hiding in her heart came out, and she admonished and encouraged me all at once. Smiling, she sweetly said, "Mama, 'Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.' Mat 6:34"
Out of the mouths of babes... :)
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
It Begins At home- Take 2
Earlier today I put up a post that I intended to be about training our children at home, but I was not careful in my approach to this matter, and I used a comparison that made me look like I had it all together. I apologize for this post and the manner in which it was written. I in no way intended to represent myself as having "arrived" in my parenting. I needed to take heed of my earlier post on TONE, and make sure that HOW I said it was weighed as heavily as WHAT I was trying to say.
So let me try again to say what I was really trying to get across. I would like to introduce a topic that may be new in essence to many of you, it was certainly nothing I have ever heard of when I was growing up, but I came across it in my earlier years of parenting and it has made a HUGE difference for our family. How many of us have gotten up on stage to perform a piano concerto without practicing at home for hours? Or, how many of us would like to meet the opposing team on Friday night without having gone to any of the practices during the week? NOT ME!!!! But why then do I ask my children to behave like star performers out in public when I do not give them the chance to practice first at home?
You see Ryan and I decided that it was important to us to have our whole family in church together. So early on we had to figure out HOW to train a young child to stay quiet during church time. I won't get into all the details because I don't want the principles of the training to be lost in it all. We came across some child training material that discussed practicing at home the behaviors, or manners, you want your child to show in public. So, we set up church at home. We sat on the couch, broke out the hymnals and listened to a sermon. We went over what was expected, and we worked on what to do and what not to do. ie. Younger children are allowed to color quietly, but not to talk out loud, or get out of their chair. After a few weeks of practicing they were really getting the hang of it (remember I didn't always have 5 children...so it was easier to train the younger ones as they also had their older siblings as examples) and I was actually getting to listen to the sermons again...well at least most of them.
So we applied this training to another area that was of EXTREME importance to me...the GROCERY STORE. I cannot shop if I am battling little people pulling things off shelves, or constantly begging me to buy them something. That MAY be tolerable to some with one child (I personally can't handle all the distraction when I am trying to stretch that dollar as far as it will go), but it is INSANE with 5. So we began training for the grocery store at home. We would practice getting in and out of the car, and practice walking with Mama through the aisles (that we made up at home). When we felt they were ready to venture out to the store with their new expectations, Ryan went with me to help be an extra pair of eyes...We went to Walmart later at night so there would be fewer people to witness our crazy family. But it worked! I have not had a temper tantrum in the store since our training. They do not beg me to buy things. They can tell me once if they would like to get something, but if I tell them "no" then they cannot ask again. If they try to, they know we won't be getting that item for some time. As a side note, we have not done this training again since our 5th has arrived, and I was shocked to hear her (3yro) beg me for something the other day in the store. The other 4 children looked at her with a bit of surprise as well. I sometimes forget what the youngest hasn't learned, since in my mind I "covered that" earlier. I guess I have some "training" to do in my near future. :)
I know this method will seem "over the top" to some of you, or just down-right bizarre. But it works, and it gives our children the confidence to know what's expected of them. They are more at ease because they know their boundaries. (I remember feeling as a child that I was only told when I did something WRONG, and it was frustrating when I didn't know what I was expected to do.) Our children aren't always perfect, but they are easily pulled in line, because they have practiced the correct behavior over and over. Practice makes perfect, so they say. I don't know about perfect, but it sure makes "peaceful". And peaceful for Mama, means happy for everyone.
What things would you like your children to practice?
So let me try again to say what I was really trying to get across. I would like to introduce a topic that may be new in essence to many of you, it was certainly nothing I have ever heard of when I was growing up, but I came across it in my earlier years of parenting and it has made a HUGE difference for our family. How many of us have gotten up on stage to perform a piano concerto without practicing at home for hours? Or, how many of us would like to meet the opposing team on Friday night without having gone to any of the practices during the week? NOT ME!!!! But why then do I ask my children to behave like star performers out in public when I do not give them the chance to practice first at home?
You see Ryan and I decided that it was important to us to have our whole family in church together. So early on we had to figure out HOW to train a young child to stay quiet during church time. I won't get into all the details because I don't want the principles of the training to be lost in it all. We came across some child training material that discussed practicing at home the behaviors, or manners, you want your child to show in public. So, we set up church at home. We sat on the couch, broke out the hymnals and listened to a sermon. We went over what was expected, and we worked on what to do and what not to do. ie. Younger children are allowed to color quietly, but not to talk out loud, or get out of their chair. After a few weeks of practicing they were really getting the hang of it (remember I didn't always have 5 children...so it was easier to train the younger ones as they also had their older siblings as examples) and I was actually getting to listen to the sermons again...well at least most of them.
So we applied this training to another area that was of EXTREME importance to me...the GROCERY STORE. I cannot shop if I am battling little people pulling things off shelves, or constantly begging me to buy them something. That MAY be tolerable to some with one child (I personally can't handle all the distraction when I am trying to stretch that dollar as far as it will go), but it is INSANE with 5. So we began training for the grocery store at home. We would practice getting in and out of the car, and practice walking with Mama through the aisles (that we made up at home). When we felt they were ready to venture out to the store with their new expectations, Ryan went with me to help be an extra pair of eyes...We went to Walmart later at night so there would be fewer people to witness our crazy family. But it worked! I have not had a temper tantrum in the store since our training. They do not beg me to buy things. They can tell me once if they would like to get something, but if I tell them "no" then they cannot ask again. If they try to, they know we won't be getting that item for some time. As a side note, we have not done this training again since our 5th has arrived, and I was shocked to hear her (3yro) beg me for something the other day in the store. The other 4 children looked at her with a bit of surprise as well. I sometimes forget what the youngest hasn't learned, since in my mind I "covered that" earlier. I guess I have some "training" to do in my near future. :)
I know this method will seem "over the top" to some of you, or just down-right bizarre. But it works, and it gives our children the confidence to know what's expected of them. They are more at ease because they know their boundaries. (I remember feeling as a child that I was only told when I did something WRONG, and it was frustrating when I didn't know what I was expected to do.) Our children aren't always perfect, but they are easily pulled in line, because they have practiced the correct behavior over and over. Practice makes perfect, so they say. I don't know about perfect, but it sure makes "peaceful". And peaceful for Mama, means happy for everyone.
What things would you like your children to practice?
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Forced Sharing?
A dear friend has asked me to blog about teaching siblings to share. With 5 girls in the house we have had, and have, daily opportunities to learn just that. Before we get into the nitty-gritty of it all, I'd like to take a broad look at sharing.
Sharing is by definition, VOLUNTARY. If someone chooses to share, it is just that, a CHOICE. Forced sharing smacks of domination, and is therefore less than optimal in the trait you are trying to encourage in your child.
With that said, when our children were very young, they had to be SHOWN what sharing means. They were given the chance to share, and if they chose to do so we would sing their praises and give them a special treat for giving-way to another. If they chose not to we said that was fine and made nothing more of it, UNLESS we saw that it had become a problem. If that was the case, and sharing was being denied for only one sibling, for example, we would pull her aside and ask them what she loved more...her toy, or her sister. Put like that, she would lean toward sharing. For a long time the motto around our house has been "We love people, we like things".
As our girls have grown, we have encountered certain teachable moments where one has chosen NOT to share that which would have cost them nothing to share...the common phrase heard then is, "That is an opportunity to show love that you have missed and will NEVER get back." We also stress that if she likes it when her sisters share with her, then she had best share with her sisters...the basic Golden Rule principle.
On very rare occasions when we have seen that a child has been not only selfish, but VERY unkind, we have had to address the attitude with discipline. But when we do, we are addressing the tone and attitude, not the decision to withhold sharing.
One thing we have shown older children who are dealing with younger siblings with a "mine" complex (always running around and grabbing things and saying, "MINE") is to show less interest in the object the younger child is guarding. Often times the younger sibling just wants the thing that the older one wants, because the older one's attention gives that object VALUE in the younger sibling's eyes. We tell them to act REALLY interested in another toy. When the younger one leaves to play with the NEW interest, the older one can go play with the first object without much difficulty. This works a majority of the time, and gives the older sibling a way to handle the somewhat annoying younger child, without bullying them.
But what happens when all FIVE girls want to do something at the same time? When they were younger we would help offer solutions for them to take turns, etc. Now that they are older, we sit back and give them a few minutes to work it out. If they still can't work it out, we tell them that they may not play with that object, or they can't watch a movie because they couldn't agree on WHICH one.
What are some of the methods you use in your home to encourage sharing?
Sharing is by definition, VOLUNTARY. If someone chooses to share, it is just that, a CHOICE. Forced sharing smacks of domination, and is therefore less than optimal in the trait you are trying to encourage in your child.
With that said, when our children were very young, they had to be SHOWN what sharing means. They were given the chance to share, and if they chose to do so we would sing their praises and give them a special treat for giving-way to another. If they chose not to we said that was fine and made nothing more of it, UNLESS we saw that it had become a problem. If that was the case, and sharing was being denied for only one sibling, for example, we would pull her aside and ask them what she loved more...her toy, or her sister. Put like that, she would lean toward sharing. For a long time the motto around our house has been "We love people, we like things".
As our girls have grown, we have encountered certain teachable moments where one has chosen NOT to share that which would have cost them nothing to share...the common phrase heard then is, "That is an opportunity to show love that you have missed and will NEVER get back." We also stress that if she likes it when her sisters share with her, then she had best share with her sisters...the basic Golden Rule principle.
On very rare occasions when we have seen that a child has been not only selfish, but VERY unkind, we have had to address the attitude with discipline. But when we do, we are addressing the tone and attitude, not the decision to withhold sharing.
One thing we have shown older children who are dealing with younger siblings with a "mine" complex (always running around and grabbing things and saying, "MINE") is to show less interest in the object the younger child is guarding. Often times the younger sibling just wants the thing that the older one wants, because the older one's attention gives that object VALUE in the younger sibling's eyes. We tell them to act REALLY interested in another toy. When the younger one leaves to play with the NEW interest, the older one can go play with the first object without much difficulty. This works a majority of the time, and gives the older sibling a way to handle the somewhat annoying younger child, without bullying them.
But what happens when all FIVE girls want to do something at the same time? When they were younger we would help offer solutions for them to take turns, etc. Now that they are older, we sit back and give them a few minutes to work it out. If they still can't work it out, we tell them that they may not play with that object, or they can't watch a movie because they couldn't agree on WHICH one.
What are some of the methods you use in your home to encourage sharing?
Friday, December 3, 2010
Why We Don't Do Santa Claus
Warning: I am NOT about to judge you or your family's preferences in this blog...so break the fight stance and relax.
I know of many families that choose not to participate in the Santa aspects of Christmas because they feel that it detracts from the focus of celebrating God's gift to us in Jesus. Although we do like to focus on Jesus for Christmas, the underlying motive for our lack of Santa comes from a different origin.
Let me explain. You see Ryan and I were both the youngest children in our family, and therefore the last to figure things out relating to all-things-Santa. We felt foolish, lied to, and our trust in our parents was rocked from a kid's perspective. We began thinking at a young age..."What else aren't they telling me?" We were concerned that this might rock our child's trust in us, too.
So, in the beginning years of our marriage we discussed the importance of our children trusting that we will always be truthful with them. That required us to go against the grain at Christmas time. Grandparents weren't so pleased at first. They were genuinely concerned that we might be stealing some of the joys and mysteries out of the season. We took note of their comments, and made steps to ensure the excitement for the kids was still there.
What is it that is SO exciting for kids Christmas morning...come now, be honest...it's the presents! It's the going to bed with a few presents mailed in from relatives under the tree, and waking up to a whole new bunch of presents the next morning. Do the kids have to believe that Santa brought them to make it exciting? Not really...our kids have known it was us ALL along...and they still wake up before the crack of dawn giggling in their rooms. We don't allow them to leave their room and see the gifts until we have taken a family pic in our p.j.'s....then we all come out and go through our stockings together, before handing out the presents under the tree. We play Christmas music, and have morning goodies to eat, and laugh, and enjoy the gift of each other.
So I place this blog out there as food for thought, mostly for young families just starting out. We realize that we are in the minority on this issue, but we have never regretted our decision, and we just wanted to share it with others as an option. Not only does this decision establish more trust with our children, it makes for a simpler, less commercial feel for the season. And yes, it does help us to focus our celebrations on Jesus, too.
Note: We have also discussed with our children that other families have made a different choice from ours, and that they are NEVER to tell a child about the "Santa Truth". That is a responsibility for that child's family to take care of in their own timing.
I know of many families that choose not to participate in the Santa aspects of Christmas because they feel that it detracts from the focus of celebrating God's gift to us in Jesus. Although we do like to focus on Jesus for Christmas, the underlying motive for our lack of Santa comes from a different origin.
Let me explain. You see Ryan and I were both the youngest children in our family, and therefore the last to figure things out relating to all-things-Santa. We felt foolish, lied to, and our trust in our parents was rocked from a kid's perspective. We began thinking at a young age..."What else aren't they telling me?" We were concerned that this might rock our child's trust in us, too.
So, in the beginning years of our marriage we discussed the importance of our children trusting that we will always be truthful with them. That required us to go against the grain at Christmas time. Grandparents weren't so pleased at first. They were genuinely concerned that we might be stealing some of the joys and mysteries out of the season. We took note of their comments, and made steps to ensure the excitement for the kids was still there.
What is it that is SO exciting for kids Christmas morning...come now, be honest...it's the presents! It's the going to bed with a few presents mailed in from relatives under the tree, and waking up to a whole new bunch of presents the next morning. Do the kids have to believe that Santa brought them to make it exciting? Not really...our kids have known it was us ALL along...and they still wake up before the crack of dawn giggling in their rooms. We don't allow them to leave their room and see the gifts until we have taken a family pic in our p.j.'s....then we all come out and go through our stockings together, before handing out the presents under the tree. We play Christmas music, and have morning goodies to eat, and laugh, and enjoy the gift of each other.
So I place this blog out there as food for thought, mostly for young families just starting out. We realize that we are in the minority on this issue, but we have never regretted our decision, and we just wanted to share it with others as an option. Not only does this decision establish more trust with our children, it makes for a simpler, less commercial feel for the season. And yes, it does help us to focus our celebrations on Jesus, too.
Note: We have also discussed with our children that other families have made a different choice from ours, and that they are NEVER to tell a child about the "Santa Truth". That is a responsibility for that child's family to take care of in their own timing.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Setting the Tone
Have you ever considered teaching your children to be aware of the tone they use? From around age 3 or 4 we teach our girls that HOW they say something is just as important as WHAT they say. How many times have you heard one of your children apologizing to the other with a frustrated angry tone? How very heartfelt she sounds as she holds her sibling in her vice grip and says she is sorry with a tone that shows NO remorse or repentance.
On more than one occasion we are known to repeat what our child has said using her tone, and then again in the appropriate tone. We literally see the light bulbs going on in her head in the process. We have also been known to show them the difference between saying "I LOVE YOU" with a sarcastic tone AND a sincere one, to bring to light how sarcasm sounds when inappropriately used.
One word of caution if you plan to embark on this essential part of your child's training, you will have to keep a more careful check on your OWN tone in the process. Do you raise your voice when frustrated? Do you bark orders at your child? Does she know you for your sweetness of tone even under pressure? Humbling, isn't it? It calls to mind a phrase I heard repeated a great deal during my college years..."More is CAUGHT, than TAUGHT."
On more than one occasion we are known to repeat what our child has said using her tone, and then again in the appropriate tone. We literally see the light bulbs going on in her head in the process. We have also been known to show them the difference between saying "I LOVE YOU" with a sarcastic tone AND a sincere one, to bring to light how sarcasm sounds when inappropriately used.
One word of caution if you plan to embark on this essential part of your child's training, you will have to keep a more careful check on your OWN tone in the process. Do you raise your voice when frustrated? Do you bark orders at your child? Does she know you for your sweetness of tone even under pressure? Humbling, isn't it? It calls to mind a phrase I heard repeated a great deal during my college years..."More is CAUGHT, than TAUGHT."
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Read-Aloud Books
It is safe to assume that in the course of homeschooling five daughters, that we do a fair amount of reading aloud together. However, I like to have a book to read to all of them over lunch that is NOT on their academic lists. Many times children can understand a book above their reading level if it is read out loud to them. This is such a special time, and they often beg for me to read "just one more chapter". (I would like to recommend some of our favorites on here from time to time.)
Just recently we have fallen in love with three books written by
Richard Peck. "A Long Way From Chicago" is the first of the three books in which a brother and sister are sent from their home in Chicago to stay with their grandmother for a week every year. Grandma Dowdel lives in rural Illinois, keeps to herself, she makes her own preserves, and she is always packing heat. Amazing and hilarious stories for the whole family escalate as we get to know Grandma Dowdel for more than her tough exterior will show.
In addition to the laughter, we learned a great deal about American life during prohibition and the Great Depression. These books are an excellent discussion in "the end doesn't justify the means", and will allow for many real life conversations about tough world issues...such as teenage pregnancy, theft, and helping the poor in a way that doesn't humiliate them ( all these things are tastefully introduced, and we find it a good way to talk about tough subjects. But, I recommend checking it out for your own family's preference first) . I found that my 9+ crowd understood the fuller meaning of it although the 6 yro understood enough to catch the humor, if not the tougher issues, which do have a more subtle tone.
The second in the series is a Newbery Honor book entitled "A Year Down Yonder" . In this book the granddaughter comes to live with Grandma Dowdel for a whole year during the toughest of the Great Depression years. High school in such a small hick town for a Chicago girl certainly has some choice moments. Again, my kids kept begging me to read the next chapter.
The last in the series is "A Season of Gifts" in which we learn a thing or two from Grandma Dowdel about "neighboring" and true religious duty. With her grandchildren grown, Mrs. Dowdel has to settle for the new family next door to bestow her unusual talents upon. The father of the new family is to be the pastor of the Methodist church, or shell of a church building in town. He has enough on his plate just trying to figure out how to get those pews warmed, and he doesn't need his three children getting into all sorts of trouble as newcomers to the small town. You guessed it, Grandma Dowdel knows just how to set things straight...but her methods are more than unorthodox...they're down right genius.
So, I hope that these suggestions will give you a jump start on a new family tradition, or to give you new ammunition for an already established one. I have found that my love of reading is contagious when it comes to my kids, especially when I sit down and share it with them.
Just recently we have fallen in love with three books written by
Richard Peck. "A Long Way From Chicago" is the first of the three books in which a brother and sister are sent from their home in Chicago to stay with their grandmother for a week every year. Grandma Dowdel lives in rural Illinois, keeps to herself, she makes her own preserves, and she is always packing heat. Amazing and hilarious stories for the whole family escalate as we get to know Grandma Dowdel for more than her tough exterior will show.
In addition to the laughter, we learned a great deal about American life during prohibition and the Great Depression. These books are an excellent discussion in "the end doesn't justify the means", and will allow for many real life conversations about tough world issues...such as teenage pregnancy, theft, and helping the poor in a way that doesn't humiliate them ( all these things are tastefully introduced, and we find it a good way to talk about tough subjects. But, I recommend checking it out for your own family's preference first) . I found that my 9+ crowd understood the fuller meaning of it although the 6 yro understood enough to catch the humor, if not the tougher issues, which do have a more subtle tone.
The second in the series is a Newbery Honor book entitled "A Year Down Yonder" . In this book the granddaughter comes to live with Grandma Dowdel for a whole year during the toughest of the Great Depression years. High school in such a small hick town for a Chicago girl certainly has some choice moments. Again, my kids kept begging me to read the next chapter.
The last in the series is "A Season of Gifts" in which we learn a thing or two from Grandma Dowdel about "neighboring" and true religious duty. With her grandchildren grown, Mrs. Dowdel has to settle for the new family next door to bestow her unusual talents upon. The father of the new family is to be the pastor of the Methodist church, or shell of a church building in town. He has enough on his plate just trying to figure out how to get those pews warmed, and he doesn't need his three children getting into all sorts of trouble as newcomers to the small town. You guessed it, Grandma Dowdel knows just how to set things straight...but her methods are more than unorthodox...they're down right genius.
So, I hope that these suggestions will give you a jump start on a new family tradition, or to give you new ammunition for an already established one. I have found that my love of reading is contagious when it comes to my kids, especially when I sit down and share it with them.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Happy Thanksgiving! -A Thankful Tradition
A few years back we started a tradition that we lovingly call the "Thankful Tree". I make a tree trunk and branches out of brown construction paper and tape it to the wall. Then I have some leaf shapes in various fall colors die cut and leave them in a pile on the counter or coffee table. Throughout the month leading up to Thanksgiving everyone is invited to take some time and write down something they are thankful for on a leaf, and then tape the leaf around the tree on the wall. By the time Thanksgiving rolls around our tree is full of "Thankful Leaves". During the holiday celebrations, we take down the leaves and read them out to each other. Nothing helps foster a grateful spirit like counting your blessings, and it tends to be a speedy remedy for discontent as a family and as an individual.
What kind of family traditions do you have for Thanksgiving?
Monday, November 22, 2010
Cheapest of Natural Remedies
Well, a friend of mine heard that I was going to start this blog, and she asked me to write about garlic. No, you heard it right, GARLIC. I'm not talking about vampires or werewolves, but something much more real. Nothing stops a family with young children quicker than a virus. And if you have a large family, (we have 5) a virus can mean a week or more of missed activities, and successive nights greatly lacking in SLEEP for Mom.
For more than 10 years our family has been using the amazing properties of raw garlic to treat viruses, flu, ear infections, and allergies. When crushed, garlic releases an sulphuric compound called Allicin. This bad boy kills bacteria equally as well as penicillin, if not better. But, even more important, it kills viruses, which medicinal antibiotics can't touch, and leaves the good bacteria in our gut untouched, even strengthened.
We crush a clove of garlic in a garlic crusher and put it on a spoon. Then we, and our children, will put the garlic in our mouth and quickly flush it down with water, like drinking a shot of tequila. Be ready with some kind of cracker or bread product to eat, because raw garlic hits the tummy hard for the first few minutes, and then it settles in. I do NOT recommend taking it on an empty stomach either. We do this 1-3 times a day when fighting a virus. It is also an incredible preventative. Which means that if Mama is taking the garlic while taking care of the sickies in the house, she has a greater chance of skipping by with a mild virus, to none at all!
We have taught all of our kids to take raw garlic when sick, and the older ones are more than willing because they have quickly seen how much better it makes them feel. Just this past week the 3 yro joined the ranks of the "stinky club". She learned to take raw garlic for the first time. (Just a VERY small amount on the tip of her spoon, followed by water, and then a small bit of a candy corn as a reward.)
But, of course this is not easily done for children under 3yrs of age. So there is another way to get garlic into your body...through your skin! Your skin is an incredible receptor. It quickly absorbs what you place on it and delivers it straight into the blood stream. To administer garlic in this way, Take 3-6 cloves of garlic and crush it into a pan of 1 cup of water. Let the garlic sit in the water for 10 minutes to reach full potency. Then slightly warm the water, WITHOUT cooking the garlic. Strain the garlic water through a coffee filter and then apply the water to the child's chest with a rag, freshening the water on the rag every few minutes. This will help the child to fight the virus more effectively.
You can also do the same process with olive oil instead of water. The "garlic oil" can be rubbed on the soles of the feet, or on the chest to help fight the virus or bacterial infection. This same garlic oil, when heated can be applied to the inner ear to fight ear infections. As soon as your child complains of discomfort in the ear, place 2-3 WARM (not cold, and NOT hot) garlic oil drops in the ear and place a cotton ball on the outer edge of the ear to keep oil from running down the child's neck...ooooh YUCK.
Does all this work? Well, it is a chink in the chain of health that we have been building in our house. And as a family we have not had a sick visit to the doctor in over 5 years. So, we think it is pretty handy...and certainly cheap. It is not uncommon to hear..."honey, will you go to the store and buy some garlic?" in our house. :)
I encourage you to do a little research on garlic and see for yourself what a wonderful little antibiotic God has given us.
For more than 10 years our family has been using the amazing properties of raw garlic to treat viruses, flu, ear infections, and allergies. When crushed, garlic releases an sulphuric compound called Allicin. This bad boy kills bacteria equally as well as penicillin, if not better. But, even more important, it kills viruses, which medicinal antibiotics can't touch, and leaves the good bacteria in our gut untouched, even strengthened.
We crush a clove of garlic in a garlic crusher and put it on a spoon. Then we, and our children, will put the garlic in our mouth and quickly flush it down with water, like drinking a shot of tequila. Be ready with some kind of cracker or bread product to eat, because raw garlic hits the tummy hard for the first few minutes, and then it settles in. I do NOT recommend taking it on an empty stomach either. We do this 1-3 times a day when fighting a virus. It is also an incredible preventative. Which means that if Mama is taking the garlic while taking care of the sickies in the house, she has a greater chance of skipping by with a mild virus, to none at all!
We have taught all of our kids to take raw garlic when sick, and the older ones are more than willing because they have quickly seen how much better it makes them feel. Just this past week the 3 yro joined the ranks of the "stinky club". She learned to take raw garlic for the first time. (Just a VERY small amount on the tip of her spoon, followed by water, and then a small bit of a candy corn as a reward.)
But, of course this is not easily done for children under 3yrs of age. So there is another way to get garlic into your body...through your skin! Your skin is an incredible receptor. It quickly absorbs what you place on it and delivers it straight into the blood stream. To administer garlic in this way, Take 3-6 cloves of garlic and crush it into a pan of 1 cup of water. Let the garlic sit in the water for 10 minutes to reach full potency. Then slightly warm the water, WITHOUT cooking the garlic. Strain the garlic water through a coffee filter and then apply the water to the child's chest with a rag, freshening the water on the rag every few minutes. This will help the child to fight the virus more effectively.
You can also do the same process with olive oil instead of water. The "garlic oil" can be rubbed on the soles of the feet, or on the chest to help fight the virus or bacterial infection. This same garlic oil, when heated can be applied to the inner ear to fight ear infections. As soon as your child complains of discomfort in the ear, place 2-3 WARM (not cold, and NOT hot) garlic oil drops in the ear and place a cotton ball on the outer edge of the ear to keep oil from running down the child's neck...ooooh YUCK.
Does all this work? Well, it is a chink in the chain of health that we have been building in our house. And as a family we have not had a sick visit to the doctor in over 5 years. So, we think it is pretty handy...and certainly cheap. It is not uncommon to hear..."honey, will you go to the store and buy some garlic?" in our house. :)
I encourage you to do a little research on garlic and see for yourself what a wonderful little antibiotic God has given us.
Finding My Stride
It's been one of those Mondays where I can't seem to find my stride. Always arriving a moment too late to prevent the latest disaster, or to keep someone's fingers from getting pinched. It's easier now that most of the girls are old enough to watch out for themselves. However, for that same reason I am often caught off guard when it comes to darling number 5.
A few cups of tea later and my mind still feels sluggish. I find in these moments, that I tend to wish away my present circumstance, thinking of relaxing and finding a moment to entertain myself. And then I feel the sudden squeeze around my leg. I look down to see Caroline's body wrapped tight around mine, and her face looking upward, with lips puckered, ready to give me a sloppy 3 year old kiss. "I love you , Mama!" She says in her pre-school voice. Translation: "Don't blink Mama, this will be gone before you know it, " I remind myself of this as my witty Emma strides through the house on her way outside to "wander".
I would like to pause a moment to explain the family term "wander". My eldest Pearl, is a bit of a wood nymph, or "wellet", as we say. Emma loves to go outside and wander among nature while singing or inventing stories or going over the latest three books she read the day before. She is quickly changing into a new creature, and it is a joy to see her handle this time in her life.
I don't want to miss anything, but I know I won't catch it all. Each of my Pearls are an incredible blessing to me and Ryan. These are what I like to call the "working years". The foundation is being laid, and the crops must be tireless tended and nurtured. When I grow weary of the daily grind, I like to remember that the harvest will be more fruitful for the investment I put in today.
The rest of my day will be wrapped up in "Old Maid", bruised knees, and dancing. We all must work, and even though I am tired today, I still think I struck the lottery with my life, family, and calling.
Leaving a Legacy
I've been pondering what kind of legacy I will leave behind when I am gone. To many of us, the word legacy isn't something we associate with our own lives. Instead, it tends to conjure up images of Benjamin Franklin or Abraham Lincoln, perhaps even those like Henry Ford, or Donald Trump.
To be bold, I would like to suggest that all of us will be remembered for something, and all of our lives will impact others. Therefore, we will all leave a legacy of sorts. Have you ever considered what yours might be? Or even better, what you would LIKE yours to be?
I have been thinking about mine, and about the 5 lives that God has entrusted to Ryan and I to shape, guide, and to light a fire in their hearts for eternity. I will only get ONE shot at raising them...only one go around...with no time for "I'll fix that later", or "I'll make it up to her next time"...there's one shot at this parent thing. To do all that is in your power to shape their lives with love, time, laughter, and hard, but needed lessons.
You see, I honestly believe our troubled American society will not be saved by billions of dollars being pumped into programs to help troubled souls. And, I believe that my highest duty to our community is to raise hard working citizens, that love truth, that honor duty, and who will help the weak. And, I believe that duty starts within the walls of our little cabin in the woods of north Georgia.
So that business I would like to start, or that hobby I would like to pursue, or country to travel to, if it keeps me from spending that time with my children, then it distracts me from the legacy I want to leave behind...those things will be there when my kids are grown...but I only get ONE childhood with them.
So when that business woman gives me the look full of pity because I am wasting my chances at a LIFE for myself by staying home with my girls, I will smile in my heart and remember that I am starting a revolution of sorts, by making sure I do all that's in my power to leave a legacy of love...because people are eternal.
To be bold, I would like to suggest that all of us will be remembered for something, and all of our lives will impact others. Therefore, we will all leave a legacy of sorts. Have you ever considered what yours might be? Or even better, what you would LIKE yours to be?
I have been thinking about mine, and about the 5 lives that God has entrusted to Ryan and I to shape, guide, and to light a fire in their hearts for eternity. I will only get ONE shot at raising them...only one go around...with no time for "I'll fix that later", or "I'll make it up to her next time"...there's one shot at this parent thing. To do all that is in your power to shape their lives with love, time, laughter, and hard, but needed lessons.
You see, I honestly believe our troubled American society will not be saved by billions of dollars being pumped into programs to help troubled souls. And, I believe that my highest duty to our community is to raise hard working citizens, that love truth, that honor duty, and who will help the weak. And, I believe that duty starts within the walls of our little cabin in the woods of north Georgia.
So that business I would like to start, or that hobby I would like to pursue, or country to travel to, if it keeps me from spending that time with my children, then it distracts me from the legacy I want to leave behind...those things will be there when my kids are grown...but I only get ONE childhood with them.
So when that business woman gives me the look full of pity because I am wasting my chances at a LIFE for myself by staying home with my girls, I will smile in my heart and remember that I am starting a revolution of sorts, by making sure I do all that's in my power to leave a legacy of love...because people are eternal.
Let's Get Started
So I've been encouraged to write a blog. I've decided to stick with what I am passionate about, family. All aspects. Marriage, child training, health, education, spiritual growth, I pretty much love it all. But, in all the love, I have found it to be my deepest challenge, this raising of the next generation. It has required me to learn more of what Jesus means when He asks us to die to ourselves than I have ever experienced in my life before. I am no longer my own. I do not come and go as I please, and every decision I make is now weighted with the best interests of those entrusted to me. No wonder so many women miss the joy, and freedom...they're too busy looking at the boundaries that God has placed around them. Too busy resenting those boundaries, and therefore failing to see that they have fallen in pleasant places. Boundaries can give us definition, and focus. Boundaries can bring us safety, and offer us a place to bloom.
So perhaps as I examine my boundaries here, I can be an encouragement to other moms who desire to walk this path...this dying to self to bring life by the ten-fold. I desire to leave a legacy. And I believe the biggest impact that legacy will have will be through my children.
So perhaps as I examine my boundaries here, I can be an encouragement to other moms who desire to walk this path...this dying to self to bring life by the ten-fold. I desire to leave a legacy. And I believe the biggest impact that legacy will have will be through my children.
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