The Gift of Kindness

By now, many of us have spent time with extended family or will be doing so shortly.  What is about family that tends to bring out the raw nerves in us?   I have seen many families who enjoy participating in the yearly resurrection of past wrongs and childhood mistakes.  You know, the kind that make you feel trapped in the cage of the person you once were. You have since strived to put that away and be a new creation, but some families love to remind you of the past...and even chuckle over it.  Surely there is room to laugh at ourselves and be light-hearted...but that should be reserved for those funny embarrassing moments that don't openly expose deep character flaws for the group to review.

What to do when those moment occur?  Carefully bring out your blue-prints of the enemy's camp and plan your counterattack with skill and precision?  You know that you could expose and wound your opponent with ease...but if you are a follower of Jesus, then you know this option is out.  You know that to add fuel to the fire will not truly vindicate you or give you the satisfaction you crave.  I have found in the past few years that I can choose to give a gift in those moments that will begin the foundation of a new pattern of relating...I can give the gift of "kindness".  I can choose to answer softly, lightly, and with the others best interest in my heart. 

You know the buttons to push that will grate, but you can step back and make just a tiny bit more effort to find out what pleases that family member, and strive to give them joy.  In a special effort to serve them, by bringing them coffee or a blanket to snuggle in. Or in the giant effort to think the best of their actions and words.  This takes more strength of character, for the mind is where the battle truly takes place.

I've thought much about these encounters over the years, (some more successful than others) and it has made me me especially careful in our little family to do what I once read in a children's reader, "To move quickly into the light."  This simply means that in our house, when someone lies, steal chocolate from a sister, breaks a toy, or is unkind in any way, we deal with the issue quickly, and upon seeing repentance, we move quickly into restoration.  We don't continue to bring up past sins to remind our children of their weaknesses.  Only on rare occasions is there a need to bring up a past problem....when there is an obvious pattern that needs to be broken, and the bringing up of a past lesson serves as a reminder to move on past that flaw.

This is another gift of kindness that we can give to our children. Children change and grow and build character at a much faster rate than adults.  Their ways are more pliable and mold-able.  But, if we think in our hearts that little Johnny has trouble with lying, and will not be able to get past that, then rest assured that little Johnny will live up to your expectation!  Let us give our children the gift of kindness in our thoughts, giving them opportunity after opportunity to do the right thing.  And let our speech, especially in groups, be on focused on the good, and not the weak in their character.  Then, your child will know that her heart is safe with you.