I have been homeschooling our children for the past seven years. (It is amazing that it has truly been seven years already.) For all seven years I have either had a baby, toddler or preschooler in the house while schooling. There is a delicate balance of creativity and training that is needed in order to keep your sanity and cheerful attitude when homeschooling with these crawling/walking distractions in the home.
From about 6-8 months old we begin training our young one to sit and play quietly on a blanket with a few select toys and books to keep them occupied. It is important that they know how to sit quietly and entertain themselves for a short period of time. We begin with 15 minutes, and gradually increase their blanket time to one hour. I can't tell you how helpful this training has been for homeschooling, as well as times when a mom has needed my attention on the phone or at her home, needing prayer and advice. (We started this practice when we were living in Ireland and I had to attend missionary meetings with my two girls, aged 3 yrs and 18 months, while expecting the 3rd, without Ryan. There wasn't child care, and I needed the girls to be quiet for an hour during the meeting. It was a blessing to me to know they were safe, occupied, and not distracting to others.) This blanket time can be a great help during the homeschool hours.
Obviously, we didn't ask our children to stay on the blanket for more than an hour. A good amount of homeschooling can be accomplished during baby's nap time as well. But as the little ones grow, and become toddlers, more creativity is needed. Here are some of the activities we have used to keep toddlers/preschoolers busy during the homeschool hours:
+ coloring (at the table with us)
+ listening to books on tape from the library
+ playing with play dough
+ watching a 30 min educational show (not in the same room with your hoomeschoolers or you can kiss that 30 minutes of homeschool time good-bye)
+ flash cards for ABC's, colors, shapes, etc
+ puzzles, and magnet games (involving tangram shapes, etc)
+playing on the front porch (always in sight) with the kitties
+dancing to music in the playroom (again, out of sight and hearing of those who are schooling)
+sometimes I let her take a bath, and I move my reading/ work with my homeschooler into the bathroom for that 30-40 minutes.
One thing that multiple older children has allowed me to do, is to rotate a "play" time with the toddler into the daily schedule. So the oldest might get 30 minutes with the toddler, and then an hour later, the 2nd oldest might play with the toddler, etc.
It will be a strange thing to have them all schooling next year. I don't think I will know what to do with myself. Who knows, maybe God has allowed this right in time for my oldest to hit puberty...hmmm...I could be needing a whole new list of creative ideas in the near future! :)
How do you homeschooling moms keep your little ones learning and occupied?
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Lunch Box Notes, And Other Signs of Love
I'm sure you are all well aware that Valentine's Day is around the corner. You can't walk into a store these days without being accosted with every shade of red. There is something about Valentine's day that I have always adored, but it has little to do with the chocolates, cards, and flowers...although a girl never minds getting any of those! ;)
Mostly, I appreciate the reminder to express my love. When Ryan and I were first married it was so fresh and exciting that hardly a day would go by without some little note, or flirtatious comment, and other gushy verbal explosion of love. But now that 12 years have passed, and 5 children have arrived, weeks can go by without the same kind of thoughtfulness and care in our expressions. Don't get me wrong, the love is still there, and has grown more stable and mature, but it often exists quietly outside of the daily, "I love you".
Every morning I make Ryan's lunch.... I know, how very June Cleaver of me...But recently, I was trying to recall the last time I sent him a lunch box note. You know, a little message of appreciation that every weekday he goes off to spend 8 hours with MIDDLE SCHOOLERS in order to pay our bills. (....if THAT isn't an act of love I don't know what is ;) ) Or perhaps a little inside joke to make him smile to himself in front of his co-workers at lunch-break.
I think we are fooling ourselves that we know everything about our spouses, even if we have been married awhile. But, it is easy for anyone to get overwhelmed with care for little people in the home, and have little energy left to study the person we chose to spend our life with. When I mean study, I'm referring to finding out what little things make your spouse happy, or what it is they love about that movie they could watch a thousand times without tiring of it, or a favorite old rock band from high school days, or some secret life dream. What makes him FEEL loved? He may KNOW I love him, but what can I do to make him FEEL that love afresh?
So here's to hoping that this Valentine's I will make these extra efforts to keep the romance going strong...and keep making the effort long after the stores have taken down all the red.
Mostly, I appreciate the reminder to express my love. When Ryan and I were first married it was so fresh and exciting that hardly a day would go by without some little note, or flirtatious comment, and other gushy verbal explosion of love. But now that 12 years have passed, and 5 children have arrived, weeks can go by without the same kind of thoughtfulness and care in our expressions. Don't get me wrong, the love is still there, and has grown more stable and mature, but it often exists quietly outside of the daily, "I love you".
Every morning I make Ryan's lunch.... I know, how very June Cleaver of me...But recently, I was trying to recall the last time I sent him a lunch box note. You know, a little message of appreciation that every weekday he goes off to spend 8 hours with MIDDLE SCHOOLERS in order to pay our bills. (....if THAT isn't an act of love I don't know what is ;) ) Or perhaps a little inside joke to make him smile to himself in front of his co-workers at lunch-break.
I think we are fooling ourselves that we know everything about our spouses, even if we have been married awhile. But, it is easy for anyone to get overwhelmed with care for little people in the home, and have little energy left to study the person we chose to spend our life with. When I mean study, I'm referring to finding out what little things make your spouse happy, or what it is they love about that movie they could watch a thousand times without tiring of it, or a favorite old rock band from high school days, or some secret life dream. What makes him FEEL loved? He may KNOW I love him, but what can I do to make him FEEL that love afresh?
So here's to hoping that this Valentine's I will make these extra efforts to keep the romance going strong...and keep making the effort long after the stores have taken down all the red.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
You Didn't Date?
Disclaimer: I realize that this topic is controversial. It is not my belief that this is the BEST or ONLY way to find a mate. I am simply sharing our story as an encouragement for those who feel called to follow God in this way, and as an example to those who doubt that it can happen. When we tell people our story, they usually look at us in amazement and say, "You didn't date?!"
The summer between my Freshman and Sophomore year of college, I came across a book that would impact my life greatly, "Passion and Purity", by Elisabeth Elliot. Although the principles in the book would take a few years to transform my thinking, Elisabeth Elliot quickly became one of the most influential people in my life, and is to this day. She challenged everything I had ever heard about dating and finding a husband. I longed for the simplicity and trust that I found in her book, but honestly couldn't see how it could be applied to modern American dating.
I had become weary of the "trying-people-on" to see if they were a fit. The pattern of continually dating: experiencing the high from a new relationship, the leveling of emotions into a steady pattern, and then the dip of emotions as one grew tired of one's choice and began to look for a new one. Having come from a divorced family, I could see how this emotional pattern could carry over into my marriage and I desperately wanted to stop the dating game.
Needless to say, it took a few years for me to stop dating, and stop trying to make it all happen. In fact, it took my experience that I blogged about in Resurrection of the Dead Dream to teach me that my God is trustworthy, even with my heart.
Here is our story:
Coming back to Georgia, after what felt like a failure of an experience in ministry, I roomed with Dawn, a friend from college. Dawn and I began to develop a dear friendship that challenged each of us to grow in our relationship with the Lord, and I began to attend Dawn's church. It was a small church, and a good many college students and recent graduates made up the core of the congregation.
It didn't take me long to notice Ryan, the tall, dark, handsome piano player with the gorgeous voice. During the sharing time at church and in Bible studies, I could see that Ryan had a strong relationship with the Lord. I watched how he interacted with the people in our church. He wasn't boastful or proud. He didn't draw attention to himself with embarrassing displays of masculinity. He served the people in the church with a gracious and generous heart. He patiently listened to the "talkers", he would quickly help those who were more difficult to be around, and he was always quick with a cheerful wit to make us all laugh. Honestly ladies, I ask you, who WOULDN'T notice a man like that? All this was ascertained about him without ever going on a single date.
The summer after I moved down to Georgia, my mother asked me to move her horse up to Rome so I could train him. Ryan stayed in town and worked at the Waffle House. It was the summer before his Senior year of college. The church was a small group now that many of the college students had gone home for the summer. Those of us left spent a good deal of time together, mainly in groups. Ryan and I traded piano lessons for riding lessons, and that was the extent of our time alone together. We never talked about feelings, or dating...but my emotions were beginning to be a problem for me.
I talked with the pastor and his wife about Ryan. I wanted to get an outside opinion as to whether they thought Ryan and I would make a good couple for marriage. My long career of dating made it clear that my emotions were not a good guide as to suitability for marriage. Going to a godly, and happily married couple who knew the both of us, sounded like good advice, as they could see things I could not about what would be needed in a marriage relationship. They were very positive in their feelings about us, but as we knew nothing about Ryan's feelings on the matter, we all kept our mouths shut, and went about our business.
Ryan shared with the group at one of the Bible studies that he was having a difficult time with the night shift at Waffle House. He was the cook, and the nights were wearing on him. I had just started teaching Summer school Algebra for the local college prep academy, and had PLENTY of papers to grade. I decided to pay the Waffle House a visit one night while Ryan was cooking. I sat on the stool at the breakfast bar and graded, and talked with Ryan about a wide range of things, like our view of family, and what we wanted most in life.
Something very important happened that night; I saw how Ryan responded under pressure. With toothless waitresses yelling at him to get the order right, and grumpy customers sending back their food, Ryan never lost his cool. He always responded in kindness and with grace. This was huge for me, having come from a home where my father had a quick and loud temper when frustrated. I walked away, not only knowing more of Ryan's background, but much more of his character.
You see, when we date, we put forth our best behavior. We want to impress that other person, and once we know we have them, we can let the rest of the not-so-pretty out of its shell. It is often hard to tell what the other person is really like, until you see how he behaves with people who are difficult, who he is NOT trying to impress.
Well, the summer ended, and I started teaching full time while Ryan went back to classes. Except at church, we saw nothing of each other. I had been praying this whole time that God would make it clear as to His will, as I was done with dating. I wanted to be free of these emotions if God was not desiring to bring Ryan and I together. I knew nothing of Ryan's feelings, but could hear God asking me to wait, so I poured myself into my teaching.
Over Thanksgiving, my father asked me about my dating life. I told him that I was done dating and that one day he would just get a phone call from some man that he never heard of before, asking for my hand in marriage. I asked him if he would help me in making that decision. He chuckled, and with a confused expression told me that he thought that was my decision alone.
There was an uneasiness in my heart, and I prayed before taking a nap that God would just let me know one way or the other. As I slept I dreamed that Ryan and I were taking care of the pastor's five children, like we did when they were out of town for a week in the early Fall. In the dream, we were all playing a game outside, and somehow I tripped and fell. Ryan picked me up and kissed me, I pushed him away and said in surprise, "What was THAT for?" He answered, "I just know what I want." I woke, flung up from the couch drenched in sweat and with wide eyes. Although I didn't want to put any stock in a dream, I couldn't get it out of my head. That very night was the traditional concert at the college called Lessons and Carols, and Ryan was singing in the choir. As he walked down the aisle with the other choir members he caught sight of me and his whole face lit up. I tried to convince myself that it was nothing.
Little did I know that while I was wrestling with my feelings, Ryan had been asking his parents for guidance about marrying me You see, a few months back, during a Bible study, I was sharing something from my journal, and Ryan had a moment of tunnel vision, and felt the Lord revealing me to him as God's choice for his wife.
Over Christmas, I went with my family to the Bahamas, and the weather was TERRIBLE. We could hardly leave our cottage there...it made for an abundance of idle time to think. I couldn't hear a joke, or experience something without wishing Ryan could be there to share it with me. I was so angry with myself for letting my heart get the best of me, completely unaware that during that time, Ryan was asking his grandmother to send him his great-grandmother's engagement ring.
Upon returning from the Bahamas, I had to turn around and take the 8th grade to Disney World. I welcomed the commotion; it kept me from thinking so much. Ryan was busy in my absence, finding out my father's phone number, and calling this man, whom he had never met, asking for my hand in marriage. My father's response? "Cathy is able to make up her own mind about that." Ryan offered to come down and meet him, but my father assured him it wouldn't be necessary. Then Ryan called my mother and asked her for my hand, as well. She had met him once or twice in conjunction with the horses and riding, and she agreed. Ryan thought he would need to spend time with them to earn their approval, and was shocked to see all the doors being opened so quickly for him.
I returned from Disney, and received a phone call from Ryan asking if I wanted to go up to Chattanooga with him that night, as he had a busy semester ahead and didn't think he would have much time for play. I, thinking that this might be a group thing, asked if Dawn could come too. As it was a school night, Dawn refused (as both Ryan and I knew she would), and Ryan came to pick me up.
We drove the hour up to Chattanooga, and I chatted the whole way about the 8th grade trip to Disney. I noticed that Ryan was unusually quiet, but didn't think anything of it. We went to a coffee house and talked and had fun. Then we went for a walk on the lighted pedestrian bridge. It looked beautiful with the white lights outlining every part of it. We were chatting about something, when Ryan's voice and countenance completely changed, he looked at me and said, "I want to talk to you about something." I began to panic as I thought he was going to assure me that we were just friends, and that he could tell I had feelings for him. I was mortified. We sat down on the bench and he noticed his shoe was untied and got down on his knee to tie it. I thought it was a strange thing to do, and more so as he handed me a ball of tin foil, saying, "What's this?" I began to open it and was just able to see the top of the ring box when he reached out to hold my hand. He had never touched my hand before. I was stunned. Suddenly it all made sense, the hand, the ring box, and him on one knee. It was as if my mind was pulling back to watch this scene take place in a movie. Ryan asked me if I would marry him. I screamed yes...in my head, but as I had promised God that I would only marry him with his parent's approval, I pulled myself together and asked him, "What do your parents say?" Now it was Ryan's turn to be nervous, thinking I was going to turn him down. He began to explain all that had happened without really saying whether they gave their approval. He finally told me that his parents thought it was God's will, and I answered, " I can't think of anything that would make me happier!"
Six months later, we were married. It has been a wonderful and blessed marriage, and I am grateful that God chose for us.
So there is our story. For those who desire to allow God to bring them a mate without dating, it is possible. Not only did this happen for us, but for three other couples from our church, too...none of them dated.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Once a Month Cooking
My trip to the grocery store last night was a clear reminder that things aren't getting any cheaper for a family of seven. The price of butter alone has gone up at least seventy cents in the last 6 months. Trying to live within a budget and still feed my family food that truly nourishes their bodies is becoming more and more challenging by the month. Even the sale price for the chicken breasts didn't make the cut this week, so I resorted to buying two whole chickens. With the help of some timely coupons I was able to get the organic chicken for less than the regular, and I took them home and fell back on my Once-a-Month cooking skills to make them ready to use in recipes over the next few days.
Once-a-Month cooking is when you plan your dinner menu for the month (or week, or every two weeks...it's up to you) and set aside a weekend to buy, organize, cook and freeze each of your meals. Then you have a LOADED freezer of healthy and convenient meals for you family. I learned how to do all this through two cookbooks entitled "Frozen Assets: Cook for a Day, Eat for a Month" and " Once-A-Month Cooking, Revised and Expanded: A Proven System for Spending Less Time in the Kitchen and Enjoying Delicious, Homemade Meals Every Day"
There's a bit of a learning curve involved, but it is worth it. Honestly, I haven't been faithful to do this since my last child was born, but I think the economy may drive me back to it. It is much easier to avoid eating out when you know you have a healthy, cooked meal waiting for you at home. And as we know, eating out has to be one of the biggest of all money wasters when you are trying to tighten the purse strings. Cooking from scratch is not only economical but it is also devoid of preservatives and other unwanted ingredients that frequent the freezer aisle of your grocery store. (ie, MSG, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Hydrogenate Vegetable Oil, etc....obviously a blog for another day.) (An extra tid-bit: Many moons ago I learned how to make my own cream soups so I could avoid the soup cans at the store with all the extra no-no's in their ingredients. It is simple, quick, and cheap and I learned how to do this from the following cookbook: "More-With-Less Cookbook (World Community Cookbook)")
Now that my youngest is 3, I believe my life has settled down enough that I could resume my Once-a-Month cooking to provide healthy, made-from-scratch meals that are on-the-go ready for the spontaneous Zwemkes. If only we still had our freezer. I know that I can accomplish it with the freezer on my fridge, but it was so easy with my freezer chest on the back porch. When we enclosed the back porch this summer to make the much needed play room, we no longer had room for the freezer-chest. I may have to put my big girl panties on and fit those meals into the freezer I have.
Once-a-Month cooking is when you plan your dinner menu for the month (or week, or every two weeks...it's up to you) and set aside a weekend to buy, organize, cook and freeze each of your meals. Then you have a LOADED freezer of healthy and convenient meals for you family. I learned how to do all this through two cookbooks entitled "Frozen Assets: Cook for a Day, Eat for a Month" and " Once-A-Month Cooking, Revised and Expanded: A Proven System for Spending Less Time in the Kitchen and Enjoying Delicious, Homemade Meals Every Day"
There's a bit of a learning curve involved, but it is worth it. Honestly, I haven't been faithful to do this since my last child was born, but I think the economy may drive me back to it. It is much easier to avoid eating out when you know you have a healthy, cooked meal waiting for you at home. And as we know, eating out has to be one of the biggest of all money wasters when you are trying to tighten the purse strings. Cooking from scratch is not only economical but it is also devoid of preservatives and other unwanted ingredients that frequent the freezer aisle of your grocery store. (ie, MSG, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Hydrogenate Vegetable Oil, etc....obviously a blog for another day.) (An extra tid-bit: Many moons ago I learned how to make my own cream soups so I could avoid the soup cans at the store with all the extra no-no's in their ingredients. It is simple, quick, and cheap and I learned how to do this from the following cookbook: "More-With-Less Cookbook (World Community Cookbook)")
Now that my youngest is 3, I believe my life has settled down enough that I could resume my Once-a-Month cooking to provide healthy, made-from-scratch meals that are on-the-go ready for the spontaneous Zwemkes. If only we still had our freezer. I know that I can accomplish it with the freezer on my fridge, but it was so easy with my freezer chest on the back porch. When we enclosed the back porch this summer to make the much needed play room, we no longer had room for the freezer-chest. I may have to put my big girl panties on and fit those meals into the freezer I have.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Second Semester Slump
It has been happening every year since kindergarten. I can't remember a time that my momentum didn't crash after the Christmas vacation. The lack of routine leading up to the holidays, and during them, creates what my husband lovingly calls the "Second Semester Slump". It has been particularly difficult the past few years as we tend to do more traveling in the Spring with the chorus and band at Ryan's school. The once carefully planned routine begins to crash all around me.
Add to that my weak "follow-through", and you have a recipe for treading water. I love to brainstorm and research new ideas, and begin multiple projects. The excitement of the "new" is like a drug for me, but I tend to give up when my plans demand more effort than the initial momentum can handle. A slight depression sets in as I realize a certain amount of discipline will be needed to get things moving in an orderly fashion again. A new project or two has even been known to appear during this "slump" time as a distraction to my real responsibilities to the family. The lie that I SHOULD be doing more than taking care of my family, educating them, training them, and discipling them, creeps into the back of my mind and fertilizes the soil of DISCONTENT! Very UN-COOL!
Discontent has a way of creeping into your thoughts and attitudes and springing out in a frustrated tone, or an exasperated sigh. What's worse is that discontent is more contagious than the flu. Once mom, the mood setter for the home, is contaminated it goes down hill rapidly for the rest of the family. (As I type, my children are doing their Saturday morning chores...and I can see how my poor attitude has affected them...the sighs, and grimaces, and poor effort...discontent is too costly to be entertained for any length of time)
So, what can be done? This life is what I KNOW God wants from me. I am certain the He is calling me to homeschool the girls, even though it is getting considerable more complicated as the oldest hit middle school this year, and I now have 4 out of 5 that need my educational attention. (The fifth needs all kinds of attention, but that's a blog for another day.) So abandoning this plan is not the cure. In fact, a little reflection on the reasons WHY we chose this path, a little envisioning of the long-term goal is VERY needed. It's easy to lose sight of the WHY when your deep in the trenches of a life-time project.
Perhaps the snow this week has given me the chance to get frustrated enough to see the problem. I have been kicking and screaming in my soul, and God has been gently holding me tight like a parent holds a toddler having a fit. As He reminded me of the WHY, I began to see how big, how valuable the goal really is. That's the cure to gathering the strength for the coming months...the VALUE of the goal. Nothing truly valuable or worthy comes without great sacrifice. In fact, I have come to see that the greater the goal, the greater the sacrifice. So the discontent bug can go find a new home to infest....perhaps it will work out some of the good that has happened here. Without it, I might not have remembered the importance of the goal.
Add to that my weak "follow-through", and you have a recipe for treading water. I love to brainstorm and research new ideas, and begin multiple projects. The excitement of the "new" is like a drug for me, but I tend to give up when my plans demand more effort than the initial momentum can handle. A slight depression sets in as I realize a certain amount of discipline will be needed to get things moving in an orderly fashion again. A new project or two has even been known to appear during this "slump" time as a distraction to my real responsibilities to the family. The lie that I SHOULD be doing more than taking care of my family, educating them, training them, and discipling them, creeps into the back of my mind and fertilizes the soil of DISCONTENT! Very UN-COOL!
Discontent has a way of creeping into your thoughts and attitudes and springing out in a frustrated tone, or an exasperated sigh. What's worse is that discontent is more contagious than the flu. Once mom, the mood setter for the home, is contaminated it goes down hill rapidly for the rest of the family. (As I type, my children are doing their Saturday morning chores...and I can see how my poor attitude has affected them...the sighs, and grimaces, and poor effort...discontent is too costly to be entertained for any length of time)
So, what can be done? This life is what I KNOW God wants from me. I am certain the He is calling me to homeschool the girls, even though it is getting considerable more complicated as the oldest hit middle school this year, and I now have 4 out of 5 that need my educational attention. (The fifth needs all kinds of attention, but that's a blog for another day.) So abandoning this plan is not the cure. In fact, a little reflection on the reasons WHY we chose this path, a little envisioning of the long-term goal is VERY needed. It's easy to lose sight of the WHY when your deep in the trenches of a life-time project.
Perhaps the snow this week has given me the chance to get frustrated enough to see the problem. I have been kicking and screaming in my soul, and God has been gently holding me tight like a parent holds a toddler having a fit. As He reminded me of the WHY, I began to see how big, how valuable the goal really is. That's the cure to gathering the strength for the coming months...the VALUE of the goal. Nothing truly valuable or worthy comes without great sacrifice. In fact, I have come to see that the greater the goal, the greater the sacrifice. So the discontent bug can go find a new home to infest....perhaps it will work out some of the good that has happened here. Without it, I might not have remembered the importance of the goal.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Who's Team Are You On?
Ever find yourself in a battle with your child? You know what you are trying to teach her is for her benefit, but you find that she builds a higher and stronger wall with each entreaty. You can't just back down and give-up with the cold comfort of, "This is just a phase, she will grow out of it." You know that the scriptures have called you to train your child, so that is not an option. But the scriptures have also warned you against frustrating your children so greatly that you make the road too difficult for them to travel. What can you do?
May I offer a suggestion that has helped our family avoid the stand-off? When we see a pattern of sin, or weak character that needs to be addressed, we pull our daughter aside and have a "moment". We tell her that her heart/character is like a garden that needs to be carefully tended. We compare the behavior she is struggling with to a weed, that left to itself will grow into a mighty oak. The more often she repeats the behavior, the more it takes root, and the more helpless she becomes in removing it. So we come along side her as her teammate to help her tend her garden and get rid of weeds before they grow into oaks. You see, then we are on HER team, helping her to fight against the sin, instead of her viewing US as the opponent.
This has made discipline a more meaningful time for us, in that it creates more of a bond between parent and child instead of a rift. Many times our daughters have thanked us for helping them to get rid of bad habits, sinful attitudes, or weak character traits. So here's to the battle ahead! May we fight together with our children and not against them!
How are some ways that you handle these situations with your child?
May I offer a suggestion that has helped our family avoid the stand-off? When we see a pattern of sin, or weak character that needs to be addressed, we pull our daughter aside and have a "moment". We tell her that her heart/character is like a garden that needs to be carefully tended. We compare the behavior she is struggling with to a weed, that left to itself will grow into a mighty oak. The more often she repeats the behavior, the more it takes root, and the more helpless she becomes in removing it. So we come along side her as her teammate to help her tend her garden and get rid of weeds before they grow into oaks. You see, then we are on HER team, helping her to fight against the sin, instead of her viewing US as the opponent.
This has made discipline a more meaningful time for us, in that it creates more of a bond between parent and child instead of a rift. Many times our daughters have thanked us for helping them to get rid of bad habits, sinful attitudes, or weak character traits. So here's to the battle ahead! May we fight together with our children and not against them!
How are some ways that you handle these situations with your child?
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Resurrection of the Dead Dream
This is the time of year that many make New Year's Resolutions. I've never been a fan of them myself, but we've already established my weirdness. Many have looked over the past year with satisfaction, or with a new resolve to try harder, work harder, exercise more...whatever. But, this is also a sad time for many who have seen their dreams crushed in the last year. Those who have struggled to keep their head above the water, and still can't see the land with the coming of the New Year.
It's time to talk a bit more about the title of this blog..."A Little Kernel" comes from a principle God taught me right after I graduated from college. I joined a ministry and moved across the country. It was adventurous and exciting and I had BIG plans and dreams for building God's kingdom. Needless to say I had a worldview crisis while there. I won't get into the gory details, but I hit rock bottom...spiritually, financially, and romantically....all at one time. I remember it as the darkest and most painful time of my life...why? All my dreams and expectations were dying, and I was desperately clinging to them, trying to breathe a little life back into them. That's when God broke through my thick skull with the following: John 12:24 "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain."
He was asking me to place my dreams and expectations on the altar before Him and to take my hands off, and slowly back away. He was asking me to trust Him to take care of my heart. So, as painful as it was, I did as He asked. I licked my wounds, swallowed my pride and came back to Georgia and started to teach...something I thought I would NEVER do after my experience student teaching. I watched all my dreams go up in smoke as they burned on the altar. I won't lie...it hurt. Then God, being as faithful to His Word, as always, showed me something splendid. He showed me that He is not only the God who desires our every dream, but that He is a God who brings life out of death...you can count on it. He is the God of the Resurrection...shown in Jesus, and lived out in my life, as He breathed new life into my dreams...He exchanged my ashes of old dreams for ones of pure gold.
Needless to say, the next year of my life laid a foundation of healing...God showed me that I LOVED teaching and I saw clearly that He wanted me to build His kingdom by investing in the lives of my students. I never felt so fulfilled in all my life...and it wasn't my original plan...it was better...it was God's.
Then He did something incredible, He brought me my husband. Within a year of moving I was engaged to the most wonderful man I have ever met...and that was gold for ashes AGAIN!
Since then, God has given me numerous opportunities to leave my hopes and expectations on the altar and trust Him to bring life out of the dead dream. I pray that I will not hold too tightly to my hopes and expectations, but will continue to bring them to the altar for God to do as He pleases with them. When we hold too tightly to our expectations, we are like the clam that clings to it's little bit of water, not realizing the expanse of ocean around it.
So I write all this, not to bore you with the story of my life, but to encourage those of you who are down...who are clinging tightly to a dream that needs to be left on the altar.
It is also an invitation for those of you who have never known the God of the Resurrection to try Him, and see that He is good.
Psalm 34:8 Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
It's time to talk a bit more about the title of this blog..."A Little Kernel" comes from a principle God taught me right after I graduated from college. I joined a ministry and moved across the country. It was adventurous and exciting and I had BIG plans and dreams for building God's kingdom. Needless to say I had a worldview crisis while there. I won't get into the gory details, but I hit rock bottom...spiritually, financially, and romantically....all at one time. I remember it as the darkest and most painful time of my life...why? All my dreams and expectations were dying, and I was desperately clinging to them, trying to breathe a little life back into them. That's when God broke through my thick skull with the following: John 12:24 "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain."
He was asking me to place my dreams and expectations on the altar before Him and to take my hands off, and slowly back away. He was asking me to trust Him to take care of my heart. So, as painful as it was, I did as He asked. I licked my wounds, swallowed my pride and came back to Georgia and started to teach...something I thought I would NEVER do after my experience student teaching. I watched all my dreams go up in smoke as they burned on the altar. I won't lie...it hurt. Then God, being as faithful to His Word, as always, showed me something splendid. He showed me that He is not only the God who desires our every dream, but that He is a God who brings life out of death...you can count on it. He is the God of the Resurrection...shown in Jesus, and lived out in my life, as He breathed new life into my dreams...He exchanged my ashes of old dreams for ones of pure gold.
Needless to say, the next year of my life laid a foundation of healing...God showed me that I LOVED teaching and I saw clearly that He wanted me to build His kingdom by investing in the lives of my students. I never felt so fulfilled in all my life...and it wasn't my original plan...it was better...it was God's.
Then He did something incredible, He brought me my husband. Within a year of moving I was engaged to the most wonderful man I have ever met...and that was gold for ashes AGAIN!
Since then, God has given me numerous opportunities to leave my hopes and expectations on the altar and trust Him to bring life out of the dead dream. I pray that I will not hold too tightly to my hopes and expectations, but will continue to bring them to the altar for God to do as He pleases with them. When we hold too tightly to our expectations, we are like the clam that clings to it's little bit of water, not realizing the expanse of ocean around it.
So I write all this, not to bore you with the story of my life, but to encourage those of you who are down...who are clinging tightly to a dream that needs to be left on the altar.
It is also an invitation for those of you who have never known the God of the Resurrection to try Him, and see that He is good.
Psalm 34:8 Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Stop the Whining!
We have a standing tradition to spend New Years Eve with dear friends of ours. (They also have 5 children so it is a house full of fun with all 10 children playing throughout the day and into the night.) As we were preparing the house to have guests, I was gently reminded of a wonderful cure for whining.
I don't know about your family, but there is a sense of purposelessness that seems to creep into ours by the last part of Christmas break. Children are enjoying their Christmas gifts, and indulging themselves in purely self-oriented activities. A couple days of that and it hits. It usually starts with the youngest, and works its way up the ranks...occasionally reaching the parents. There are few things as exhausting to both the parents and the children as whining. The root of it comes from an ungrateful attitude. A healthy dose of it and a parent's resolve begins to wane. In those moments Bill Cosby's stand-up routine on parenthood comes to mind, "Parents aren't interested in JUSTICE. Parents want QUIET!"
So, back to New Year's Eve. I had a whole list of things to clean and do before our guests arrived. At my husband's request I wrote them down for all to see. ( side note: This is a handy way for everyone in the family to get on the game plan with you. I find that the momentum stays high when the kids can go to the list for the next thing to do, instead of to me.) We turned on some music, and we worked. Music playing, happy children and NO whining. Why? When children have occupation, and work that causes them to serve others, they have a sense of purpose...then thankfulness begins to take root and grow again. It's funny how we can forget things that have worked so many times before. That morning I was reminded that when our older children whine, we put them to work, and a sunny disposition is usually not too far behind.
That isn't always so easy to do with the 3 and under group. So here is a little tip we picked up from a reader of the No Greater Joy magazine. When our 18month-3 yro gets a case of the whines, we give them whining medicine. Whining medicine is a wonderful concoction of vinegar, soy sauce, hot mustard, and any other condiment that you might want to throw in for EXTRA flavor. Just a teaspoon of whining medicine and our young children are cured. When they would whine we would sweetly say, "Oh no, it sounds like you need whining medicine." And after a couple of doses we would usually hear, "I happy...see I HAPPY!" (with grins to prove it.)
Well, again...we are exposing our weirdness before you. Take what you will and see what works for your family...if it doesn't, toss it and think of something that will....but don't let whining take root in your home. It damages the little one's hearts to think that the world revolves around them, and it makes them less pleasant for you to be around...and you are around them A LOT...so help them to be pleasant, and everyone wins!
I don't know about your family, but there is a sense of purposelessness that seems to creep into ours by the last part of Christmas break. Children are enjoying their Christmas gifts, and indulging themselves in purely self-oriented activities. A couple days of that and it hits. It usually starts with the youngest, and works its way up the ranks...occasionally reaching the parents. There are few things as exhausting to both the parents and the children as whining. The root of it comes from an ungrateful attitude. A healthy dose of it and a parent's resolve begins to wane. In those moments Bill Cosby's stand-up routine on parenthood comes to mind, "Parents aren't interested in JUSTICE. Parents want QUIET!"
So, back to New Year's Eve. I had a whole list of things to clean and do before our guests arrived. At my husband's request I wrote them down for all to see. ( side note: This is a handy way for everyone in the family to get on the game plan with you. I find that the momentum stays high when the kids can go to the list for the next thing to do, instead of to me.) We turned on some music, and we worked. Music playing, happy children and NO whining. Why? When children have occupation, and work that causes them to serve others, they have a sense of purpose...then thankfulness begins to take root and grow again. It's funny how we can forget things that have worked so many times before. That morning I was reminded that when our older children whine, we put them to work, and a sunny disposition is usually not too far behind.
That isn't always so easy to do with the 3 and under group. So here is a little tip we picked up from a reader of the No Greater Joy magazine. When our 18month-3 yro gets a case of the whines, we give them whining medicine. Whining medicine is a wonderful concoction of vinegar, soy sauce, hot mustard, and any other condiment that you might want to throw in for EXTRA flavor. Just a teaspoon of whining medicine and our young children are cured. When they would whine we would sweetly say, "Oh no, it sounds like you need whining medicine." And after a couple of doses we would usually hear, "I happy...see I HAPPY!" (with grins to prove it.)
Well, again...we are exposing our weirdness before you. Take what you will and see what works for your family...if it doesn't, toss it and think of something that will....but don't let whining take root in your home. It damages the little one's hearts to think that the world revolves around them, and it makes them less pleasant for you to be around...and you are around them A LOT...so help them to be pleasant, and everyone wins!
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