Saturday, April 23, 2011

Stop and Breathe

  It's been a busy week in the Zwemke home.  Planning for a birthday party, planning and practicing music for the Resurrection Sunday service, and of course planning and preparing food for all these events as well.  My eyes are blurry from all the frantic commotion.  I have been deep in task mode for more than 48 hours, and my heart feels the weight of it.
  This evening, the evidence of a successful party is scattered all throughout the house, and the music for tomorrow is floating in the air.  I had a cup of tea, and sang my songs, and now I am realizing that I have hardly taken more than 5 minutes to think and meditate on the glorious work Christ has done by paying the penalty of my great sin, and how He arose and sits victorious at the right hand of God, awaiting His perfect timing to return and claim His own.
   Our tradition this time of year is to build a tomb of sorts, and place a doll, or something signifying Jesus, wrapped in a cloth inside, and then roll a "stone" in front of the tomb.  In the morning, before going to the Resurrection Sunday service, we enact the women arriving at the tomb to find the stone rolled away and the tomb empty.  We usually leave some Easter baskets with gifts for the girls inside the tomb, where there is a sign reading "He is Risen!"  It's a wonderful tradition, and the girls truly look forward to it, but in all my busy-ness, I forgot to get presents...and there was no energy left to think about the tomb.  I sat on the couch, begging the girls to let it go this year. 
  It is at moments like these that I am reminded that Mom doesn't have to do it all alone.  Ryan and the girls busily worked to make a tomb, and by the judgment of the 8yro, "It's the best tomb, ever!"  Then, I had to admit that I didn't get them any presents...only to find moments later, the 12yro stealing the baskets from my closet for "a surprise." I am looking forward to what she will do, and my heart is touched by her generosity, and care.
  Grace...grace is what is needed in my heart tonight.  I am sad, that I have grown weary with all the work to make times special.  What I truly need is to stop, breathe, and meditate on the grace of Jesus, unbounded, and free.  Grace that is greater than all my sin.  I am thankful, that I have teammates, working with me to make memories for the younger ones.  I desire for God to strengthen me tonight, so that tomorrow I will not just check off the rest of my to-do list, but will have the eyes to see past it, to the eternal, lasting things of God.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Ogres and Faries and Trolls, Oh My!

   Roll up your sleeves and buckle your seat belt, we're going to embark on yet another controversial subject.  Should Christians read fantasy literature, and how do we allow our children to develop their imaginations without delving into the world of witchcraft: which the Bible clearly states, has no place in the life of a Christ follower?
   Let's start with some of the scriptures that define witchcraft and God's view of it.  The main passage  of interest is found in Deu 18:10-11  "There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, or one who practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who conjures spells, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. ".
And in the Hebrew law we find, Lev 20:27  'A man or a woman who is a medium, or who has familiar spirits, shall surely be put to death; they shall stone them with stones. Their blood shall be upon them.' "  Regardless of your feelings on the subject, it appears that God has stated His firmly.   His people are not to participate in any such activity.
  But then we come to fantasy literature....hmmm.  So much of it deals with magical lands, creatures, and the like.  Many parents have a healthy caution when it comes to what they allow their children to watch and read, and I would commend that feeling.  It is true that God has placed us in the position of protecting and guiding our young ones, which includes the guarding and training of their minds, spirits, hearts, bodies, and character.  Every family must be careful of what they choose to allow their children to view and read, and it will look different for each as they follow God's leading.  For us, being a homeschooling family, we place a great value on the power of literature to form the patterns of thought and learning in our children, and we happen to love fantasy literature. 
   We love the creative worlds and courageous adventures found in many of the stories we read. In C.S. Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia,  we find a beautiful allegory to the Gospel and the Christian's sanctification.  In the J.R.R. Tolkien's  The Lord of the Rings, we find friendship, loyalty, courage, and the weak and frail overcoming the strong and evil.  Some of these books have magic in them, and mythical creatures, such as elves, and fairies, etc.  Even in Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress we find giants and other such fantastic creatures.
  For us, the presence of magic or fantasy creatures is not the main criteria we use when deciding which stories to read.   It has more to do with how those items are presented.  For example, we do not choose to read fantasy literature that encourages the reader to find the magic within themselves, or to seek spiritual guides, or that present the magic in such a way as to suggest that it is available to those who would seek it in this world.  We feel that this type of presentation would trespass the above scriptures by encouraging its readers to seek after and participate in sorcery, etc.
  But if we were to rule out anything that mentions witchcraft or shows others participating in them, we would have to rule out the Bible itself.  Sunday School quiz time....Which King of Israel sought the advice of a medium?  That's right, the very first...Saul...found here:  1Sa 28:7  "Then Saul said to his servants, 'Find me a woman who is a medium, that I may go to her and inquire of her.' And his servants said to him, 'In fact, there is a woman who is a medium at En Dor'.''
 (Don't you just love the town's name "En Dor"? Sounds like it came straight out of a sci-fi book.)
And the end of his story is recorded for us...1Ch 10:13  "So Saul died for his unfaithfulness which he had committed against the LORD, because he did not keep the word of the LORD, and also because he consulted a medium for guidance."  This is not the only time these things are mentioned in the Bible, yet the Bible does not condone these activities, even though it records them.
  Fantasy literature is a removed world from our own, and in that setting one is sometimes more open to learning issues of character than in literature that relates so closely to our own experiences.  Richard Scarry, the famous children book author once noted that he chose to use talking animals as his main characters because he found that children could identify with the lessons to be learned more readily than when the characters were humans.  We have found that fantasy literature allows us to do the same with our children.
   So when you are deciding what to allow your children to read, ask yourself if this story encourages the reader to seek after witchcraft, or whether it mentions magic as some happenings in the story?  Is magic the main thrust of the story, or just one component of it?  Is there a deeper more valuable message to be found in the story, beyond the creatures and magic?  Are the creatures, such as fairies simply doing what they were created to do in their world?  Or is the author attempting to make you believe that such things are to be sought in this world?  There is a difference, and you will have to seek God in guiding you as to what would instill a love and reverence for Him in whatever you read, whether full of fantastical creatures or not.
  (On a side note, some have voiced uncertainty toward the Disney Fairies, etc.  I cannot tell you what you should do for your own family, but I will tell you what we have done in ours.  We have no problem with these fairies (although we wish some were more modestly dressed at times), as we see them doing the tasks that they were created to do in their world.  We don't mind our girls painting pictures of them, etc, but we do not allow them to think that these fairies truly exist or make our seasons change.  They belong in the category of pretend...and we have found many useful character lessons come out of the land of pretend to find root in our world quite nicely.)

Friday, April 1, 2011

The Picky Eater Strikes Again

 A difficult lesson was dealt to our three year old last night.  She decided she wasn't so fond of the dinner on her plate before her, so she chose to spend her time in a more palatable way, by making the rest of the family laugh.  Unfortunately for her, that choice landed her a prime seat at the table all by her lonesome once everyone had cleared away their dishes.  This might not have been so terrible a punishment had it not been for the puppet show her two older sisters were putting on for the family right after dinner.  The girls had really made it a first-class affair with posters around the house to advertise the evening's performance.  Not only that, but they were charging admission, and offering snacks during the intermissions (there were two).  Needless to say, there was a buzz of excitement among the other three siblings in anticipation for the evening's activity.
  But, not for the three year old.  Although warned several times that she would not be able to go to the show without finishing her food, she still stalled and, I suspect, secretly hoped she would be given a special grace to attend the show and THEN finish her food.  It was hard to see her fall into desperate tears as we watched all three sections of the show without her.  At each intermission we encouraged her to finish quickly so that she could come see the next act.  She would rally and tell us how she was going to finish, but wouldn't put that excitement into action and was truly crestfallen when she realized she missed the whole thing...and by just a few bites, too.
  Several times we had to explain to her that she had chosen her fate that night.  By refusing to eat in a timely manner, she alone was responsible for her choice to miss out on the puppet show.  Such a hard lesson, but one that we hope will stick with her and motivate her to action in the future.
  We have had a few picky eaters in the family, and have found that all our kids went through various stages of picky-ness at different ages.  The standard Zwemke policy is: "If you do not eat this food tonight, then you will see it again in the morning"...and so forth, until the child decides it is a good idea to eat the food. (a very few times this has lasted almost a 24 hour period...we do give them a glass of milk or so, but that's it...it's never gone past that.) Sometimes I heat the food up again, but if I am busy, I don't.
  We do recognize that people all have a few foods that they REALLY dislike.  Honestly, Ryan and I have a few things we don't eat as well.  So I do give some allowances for having a particular distaste for an item.  We generally ask them to take one or two "no-thank-you" bites of something new that they may not take to at first.  But if it is a down right refusal, accompanied with complaints about the meal, showing a great amount of ungratefulness, it comes down to the "this is the next thing you are going to eat, and nothing else until you do" policy.
  Sounds tough, but there is no way I am opening up a private restaurant to serve each person an individualized meal every time we eat.  It's unrealistic, and it doesn't prepare our children to show kindness and respect when we are visiting at another family's home and they are served something that they do not care for.  It is an important social grace to know how to show gratefulness for a meal, even if it is not your favorite.  And these social graces and strengths of character, are practiced and learned at home.