Warning: I am NOT about to judge you or your family's preferences in this blog...so break the fight stance and relax.
I know of many families that choose not to participate in the Santa aspects of Christmas because they feel that it detracts from the focus of celebrating God's gift to us in Jesus. Although we do like to focus on Jesus for Christmas, the underlying motive for our lack of Santa comes from a different origin.
Let me explain. You see Ryan and I were both the youngest children in our family, and therefore the last to figure things out relating to all-things-Santa. We felt foolish, lied to, and our trust in our parents was rocked from a kid's perspective. We began thinking at a young age..."What else aren't they telling me?" We were concerned that this might rock our child's trust in us, too.
So, in the beginning years of our marriage we discussed the importance of our children trusting that we will always be truthful with them. That required us to go against the grain at Christmas time. Grandparents weren't so pleased at first. They were genuinely concerned that we might be stealing some of the joys and mysteries out of the season. We took note of their comments, and made steps to ensure the excitement for the kids was still there.
What is it that is SO exciting for kids Christmas morning...come now, be honest...it's the presents! It's the going to bed with a few presents mailed in from relatives under the tree, and waking up to a whole new bunch of presents the next morning. Do the kids have to believe that Santa brought them to make it exciting? Not really...our kids have known it was us ALL along...and they still wake up before the crack of dawn giggling in their rooms. We don't allow them to leave their room and see the gifts until we have taken a family pic in our p.j.'s....then we all come out and go through our stockings together, before handing out the presents under the tree. We play Christmas music, and have morning goodies to eat, and laugh, and enjoy the gift of each other.
So I place this blog out there as food for thought, mostly for young families just starting out. We realize that we are in the minority on this issue, but we have never regretted our decision, and we just wanted to share it with others as an option. Not only does this decision establish more trust with our children, it makes for a simpler, less commercial feel for the season. And yes, it does help us to focus our celebrations on Jesus, too.
Note: We have also discussed with our children that other families have made a different choice from ours, and that they are NEVER to tell a child about the "Santa Truth". That is a responsibility for that child's family to take care of in their own timing.
You know, it's funny, we've been telling David about Santa (just as we did with The Bigs), but lately I've felt, I don't know, icky about it. Maybe it's time to have a conversation with Michael about it. :)
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ReplyDeleteNot having grown up in a family threat did Santa, I hadn't considered much about this. Thank you.
btw, my parents just told us that Santa was a game that some people choose to play. We thought that worked for an explanation.:)
I knew we were kindred spirits! Our family does the same thing - for the same reasons! Our extended family does think we are freaks, and I have been called "un-American". Another reason on my list: I felt so SELFISH when I learned Santa wasn't real. I pleaded for expensive gifts and then was disappointed some Christmases when they didn't magically appear. I had no idea how hard my parents worked to give us a nice Christmas. Had I known, I would have had a much more grateful heart as a child.
ReplyDeleteCathlyn, We also don't "do" Santa for the same reasons. Thanks for sharing! By the way, what did you tell them about him? We are trying to treat him as a story, like any other storybook we read to help them distinguish between the Truth of Jesus and fictional stories.
ReplyDeleteThe similarities between you and my sister in law amaze me!She also home schools her three girls and they too made the decision not to do Santa. They feel that all the hard work that goes into providing should be directed at the real message of Christmas. . . Jesus and of course family. It has really worked well for them. In turn they are under strict orders to "play along" for Charlotte's sake.
ReplyDeleteI wrote this blog post a while ago now about this topic, as we too do not play into Santa!
ReplyDeletehttp://monica-writes.xanga.com/581408298/where-we-stand/
My other favorite tradition that wasn't a part of that post, is much like yours, our girls can not go down stairs until we've invited them down. After pictures, we read the Christmas story from the Bible before we open a single gift. We've been using a picture Bible, but this might be the first year we read it from the regular Bible. But I've always placed the Bible right in front/on top of the gifts so that we never forget it!
It's funny, I've been thinking about this since last Christmas. I am really wishing that we hadn't started the whole "Santa" thing.
ReplyDeleteJust last week, the kids & I were walking through the mall and my 7 year old asked me about the Toys for Tots setup. I told her it was so that people could give toys to children who might not otherwise get toys for Christmas. She said, "is that because they're bad?" Ouch. How do I explain that, when my child believes in Santa, and it's because *I* told her?
The nano-second she starts to get suspicious, I think I'm going to sit down with both of the kids and have the talk.
THAT being said, I'm comfortable with the "proportion" we have between Santa and the birth of Jesus. Santa is "there", and the kids believe that he brings (some) presents, but they do understand that Christmas is all about Jesus and his coming to earth.
Cathlyn, I so wish we lived closer!!!
Our kids are still small, but our oldest (3) is starting to ask more questions at Christmas. My husband and I have decided not to "do" Santa and tell our children that their presents are from us and focus on Christ's birth. Even with that, she's already starting to putting Christmas and Santa together. I've had to tell her once already that Christmas is about Jesus and not about Santa. I just hope that she'll understand the "family secret" concept! lol I can just see the devastated faces of my nieces and nephews! Thanks for this post!
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