Setting the Tone

Have you ever considered teaching your children to be aware of the tone they use?  From around age 3 or 4 we teach our girls that HOW they say something is just as important as WHAT they say.  How many times have you heard one of your children apologizing to the other with a frustrated angry tone?  How very heartfelt she sounds as she holds her sibling in her vice grip and says she is sorry with a tone that shows NO remorse or repentance.

On more than one occasion we are known to repeat what our child has said using her tone, and then again in the appropriate tone.  We literally see the light bulbs going on in her head in the process.  We have also been known to show them the difference between saying "I LOVE YOU" with a sarcastic tone AND a sincere one, to bring to light how sarcasm sounds when inappropriately used.

One word of caution if you plan to embark on this essential part of your child's training, you will have to keep a more careful check on your OWN tone in the process.  Do you raise your voice when frustrated?  Do you bark orders at your child? Does she know you for your sweetness of tone even under pressure?  Humbling, isn't it?  It calls to mind a phrase I heard repeated a great deal during my college years..."More is CAUGHT, than TAUGHT."