Purpose Driven

  Things were feeling a little sluggish around here recently.  After we finished homeschool, there was a mad dash to all the various screens in the house.  Computers, Itouches, Wii, t.v., every form of glowing light was being used to the utmost.  I began to sense a disintegration of family life, but everything they were doing was educational in one way or another, so I kept telling myself that it wasn't a complete wash.  Besides, it was probably the only time in the day when three to five people weren't calling for my attention at the same time, so maybe I was a little guilty in allowing it so that I could get some things done uninterrupted.  (Uninterrupted?  Did I just consciously verbalize that I was viewing my children as an interruption to MY day and MY plans?  Hmmm, perhaps there is more than one blog post message hidden here.)
  One afternoon last week, as I walked through the house during the "screen bonanza", I couldn't believe how many toys and games were sitting unused in our little home.  I tried to remember the last creative play time the girls had worked together to build some fantasy world or game.  A few weeks at least, or perhaps a month...it was hard to tell, but it was enough time to call a family conference.
  Five bodies on the couch stared up at their pacing mother as I tried to articulate a new plan, and communicate the nearby danger of our family becoming high functioning roommates who don't really build community together.  "All this time that we spend in front of screens is self directed, and isolating.  It takes away our chance to do something as a team.  We need projects! We need to work together toward a common goal.  You can also be pouring some time into skills that you can use later in life.  I like to see you cooking in the kitchen, making dolls clothes, knitting, working on fitness goals...SOMETHING!"  So they brainstormed, and I think there was some true excitement involved as well.  It was also an interesting look in to the passions and interests of our girls that I might not have noticed before then.
  Well, God has a way of providing the very thing we need most when we ask Him for wisdom and guidance.  Not even two days past that conversation did the girls find a turtle in the back yard.  Pleading eyes told me that they wanted to keep him. I'm not one to punish wild things by making them captives of little hands, but this turtle was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  "Yes, you can keep it.  But, you must look up all about turtles. I want to know what kind of turtle this is, what it eats, what it needs in a terrarium, what gender it is, how long it lives...everything you can find."  Oh, they were busy learning and reporting and the poor turtle was prodded and examined, but I am happy to say that she has survived, and now sits in a tank in the playroom.
  Then the next project/purpose presented itself.  We were invited to help a nearby family raise the money they needed to adopt a young girl from the Ukraine. Yuliya's story struck home with our girls.  Here was a girl of 15 who had one month left in the system before she would be turned out on the streets.  Without family or friends, Yuliya would likely end up like a majority of orphans in the Ukraine...crime or prostitution.  When our girls heard this they began brainstorming ways to raise money. Two of the girls decided they wanted to make and sell cookies. They came to me with a recipe and asked if I would purchase the ingredients needed to make them.  We got right to work and made 54 iced sugar cookies and sent them to school with Ryan.  His students were so excited, they wanted more, so I went back to the store and got more ingredients. This time the girls worked into the night to make 72 more cookies.  The students responded with even more excitement. (One pair of brothers brought in $33 for one cookie!)  Ryan's classes began talking about making posters around the school and getting a club to sponsor in helping bring Yulyia home.  It was thrilling for the girls to get the text today that all the cookies had sold before the last class of he day!
  It has been a joy to work together to help others, and that creativity is spilling into other areas...board games have come out everyday, some of which I forgot we owned.  There was a rousing game of Blind Man's Bluff  tonight before bed.  And the girls have taken to filming their own movie of "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe"...that will be a project loaded with family memories for years to come, and full of laughter for all of us now, too.  It's amazing what a little purpose can do for a life, a family, and a community!

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

  Our four year old has become consumed with Mother Goose Rhymes recently.  She loves the melodious sounds of the words and the ridiculous stories they tell. Often after a few minutes of reading we are both in a fit of giggles about some silly picture or rhyme in her book.  But, I always hold a secret smile whenever we read the one about what little girls are made of.  We have quite a few "little girls" and most of the time they are full of everything nice, but occasionally they fall prey to a feminine pitfall that many never grow out of.  It seems that many little girls struggle with emotional manipulation, hissy fits, or as I like to call it "being a slave to her emotions".
  Little girls are generally cute, and there is a special elation that comes from seeing them react excitedly to a new situation or gift, but it is equally repelling to see one scowl and pout and stomp her feet, or even scream when things don't go her way.  I have seen parents laugh at the little terror knowing that her size is all that keeps her from being a real threat to anyone, other than an annoyance.  I have even seen parents jump and try to fix whatever the problem may be in order to make their princess smile again. (Which only encourages her to try that tactic again next time.) But little girls who don't learn to be masters of their emotions while they are young, grow up to be wives who emotionally manipulate and throw fits to get their way. 
  Some of our girls have been more outward about this issue than the others, but whether they use silence or noise to get what they want, we have talked with them all about being the masters of their emotions or face the alternative...being slaves to them.  When our little darlings would throw a fit, we would quickly discipline the situation, and then have them practice the proper way to communicate their frustration.  It's important to recognize emotions but learning to properly communicate them is crucial to healthy relationships.
   What we practice is what we become.  Let a little girl practice emotional manipulation, and she will be an expert in the art by the time she reaches puberty.  Guide her to master her feelings and do the right thing, regardless of how she feels, and she will be more likely to grow into a self-disciplined adult.  Help her to practice communicating her feelings in a reasonable fashion and you will be giving her building blocks to use in healthy relationships and a happy marriage down the road. 
   Truth be told, we are the examples our children watch the most in learning how to react and handle our emotions.  That hits a bit too close to home for me at times.  I pray that God will help me to be the kind of mother who is gracious in hardship, kind when provoked, quick to forgive and quiet of heart.