Coming Out of a Fog

  My husband and I just celebrated our thirteenth anniversary.  While we were driving away to our hotel, we began to discuss all that has past so far.  We realized that in that time I have been extremely busy laying the foundation for our five daughters.  Many a day, week, or even month would pass without me truly digging into the Word of God in my quiet time.  Sure I would listen to sermons, or read a quick devotional, or simply repeat one or two Bible verses in my head to keep me going, but I had become lax in studying and being still before God. I would go from morning to night attending to the needs of the many little ones in my care.  Prayer while working, became my new mode of communication with God...or a least a last minute plea to restrain me from letting my flesh take control in a frustrating moment of training our daughters.  How easy it is to heap guilt upon your heart when you let a discipline slide, much less a spiritual discipline. But in those "survival mode" years, I learned to lay my guilt at the feet of the Lord, and to bask in His grace that is constant, regardless of my performance.
  We have truly been blessed to have the written Word of God at our fingertips, but for thousands of years those who walked with God did so without that luxury. Many a faithful follower today sit imprisoned for their faith, with no Bible to comfort them.  It is possible to carry on a truthful and full relationship with God without daily Bible readings.  Like I mentioned before, daily Bible study is a spiritual discipline, and not the actual relationship with God in and of itself.  But the lack of consistently studying the Word takes its toll over time.  It leaves us more subject to being lured by the world's thinking, or more easily led astray by false teaching.  For myself, I become weak to resisting the call to gauge my life by my possessions or achievements.  I become weak to the idea that I need "me" time...and eventually I try to pick up my life as my own, instead of  living as one who has been bought at a price and who belongs to Another.
  This summer has been like a lifting of the spiritual fog I have felt for the past couple of years.  This is the second year that we have participated in the National Bible Bee  as a family.  What an incredible opportunity to memorize the Scriptures, and to teach your children how to study the Bible.  In addition to the many Bible verses each age group memorizes, the families all study the same book of the Bible.  This summer we are studying through the book of 1 Peter.  They teach you how to do an inductive Bible study, reading over the whole book several times and studying the history, geography and author before taking a closer look, chapter by chapter and verse by verse (and looking up the original Greek in Strongs Concordance).  So for those looking to teach their children in the spiritual disciplines of Bible study, prayer (they go through the whole A.C.T.S prayer model), and scripture memory, along with great ideas and prompts for applying the Word of God in your life and in your child's life, I can't recommend this summer challenge enough!  It has been so helpful to have this program to help pass along the skills and disciplines I learned in college, and at the appropriate age level, too.
  As my children mature, I am finding the time to sit still is returning to my life. The time to think, pause, pray and study is slowly creeping back into the daily schedule of things.  I can see the foundation we have been laying with the girls is paying off for them, and us, as I work myself out of a job, with each girl growing in her ability to help around the house and to help with her younger sisters.  I am thankful for those "survival mode" years, and I am glad that God is gracious. 

The following passage of scripture describes the fog, and lifting of it in my heart:

Psa 119:25-50 
"My soul clings to the dust; Revive me according to Your word.
 I have declared my ways, and You answered me; Teach me Your statutes.
 Make me understand the way of Your precepts; So shall I meditate on Your wonderful works.
 My soul melts from heaviness; Strengthen me according to Your word.
 Remove from me the way of lying, And grant me Your law graciously.
 I have chosen the way of truth; Your judgments I have laid before me.
 I cling to Your testimonies; O LORD, do not put me to shame!
 I will run the course of Your commandments, For You shall enlarge my heart.
 Teach me, O LORD, the way of Your statutes, And I shall keep it to the end.
 Give me understanding, and I shall keep Your law; Indeed, I shall observe it with my whole heart.
 Make me walk in the path of Your commandments, For I delight in it.
 Incline my heart to Your testimonies, And not to covetousness.
 Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, And revive me in Your way.
 Establish Your word to Your servant, Who is devoted to fearing You.
 Turn away my reproach which I dread, For Your judgments are good.
 Behold, I long for Your precepts; Revive me in Your righteousness.
 Let Your mercies come also to me, O LORD— Your salvation according to Your word.
 So shall I have an answer for him who reproaches me, For I trust in Your word.
 And take not the word of truth utterly out of my mouth, For I have hoped in Your ordinances.
 So shall I keep Your law continually, Forever and ever.
And I will walk at liberty, For I seek Your precepts.
 I will speak of Your testimonies also before kings, And will not be ashamed.
 And I will delight myself in Your commandments, Which I love.
 My hands also I will lift up to Your commandments, Which I love, And I will meditate on Your statutes.
 Remember the word to Your servant, Upon which You have caused me to hope.
 This is my comfort in my affliction, For Your word has given me life."