Ever find yourself in a battle with your child? You know what you are trying to teach her is for her benefit, but you find that she builds a higher and stronger wall with each entreaty. You can't just back down and give-up with the cold comfort of, "This is just a phase, she will grow out of it." You know that the scriptures have called you to train your child, so that is not an option. But the scriptures have also warned you against frustrating your children so greatly that you make the road too difficult for them to travel. What can you do?
May I offer a suggestion that has helped our family avoid the stand-off? When we see a pattern of sin, or weak character that needs to be addressed, we pull our daughter aside and have a "moment". We tell her that her heart/character is like a garden that needs to be carefully tended. We compare the behavior she is struggling with to a weed, that left to itself will grow into a mighty oak. The more often she repeats the behavior, the more it takes root, and the more helpless she becomes in removing it. So we come along side her as her teammate to help her tend her garden and get rid of weeds before they grow into oaks. You see, then we are on HER team, helping her to fight against the sin, instead of her viewing US as the opponent.
This has made discipline a more meaningful time for us, in that it creates more of a bond between parent and child instead of a rift. Many times our daughters have thanked us for helping them to get rid of bad habits, sinful attitudes, or weak character traits. So here's to the battle ahead! May we fight together with our children and not against them!
How are some ways that you handle these situations with your child?
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