The Pitfall of Comparison

  Her house looks perfect all the time, her children are clean, cute, and polite, and she always looks put-together and cool as a cucumber.  Isn't that one of the verses found in the passage about the Proverbs 31 woman?  Hardly!  But, it seems as though we all think we know a woman or two like this.  I assure you that she is fictitious.  We do not know what her bad days are like, or how she responds when her children ruin their new clothes AGAIN.  Ever think that she, like you, cleans her house before someone comes over?  Oh, and have you seen her pain and inner struggles, or do you assume she hasn't any because she chooses not to complain all the time?
  You have a skewed view of your perfect friend, because you have seen her through the eyes of comparison.  I will tell you now, comparison has two daughters, Pride and Envy.  When you see your friend, and you compare her child training, house, appearance, etc to your own, you will end up entertaining one of these two daughters.  We are well acquainted with the pitfalls of Pride, but let us for today consider Envy.
  I have a friend who I tend to put up on a pedestal, especially when it come to cooking healthy foods for her family.  I am grateful for her friendship because she has taught me so much in areas that I know so little.  I would see her AMAZING cakes that she would make for her children's birthdays.  I tried to make my made-from-scratch-healthy cakes come out with the same finished look that hers came out with, but I was a far cry from it.  I was in awe of her, and envious.  Then one day our family happened to visit hers right after one of her children's birthdays.  There was left over cake, and she offered some to us.  I started talking with her about my cake envy and how creative she was.  I asked her how she got her cakes to be so fluffy when she used the heavier healthy ingredients.  She looked blank for a moment, and said, "It's a box cake, and I bought the icing."  I could hear the veil being torn from top to bottom.  She stood before me a real woman.  I laughed and laughed that I had entertained Envy for so long, without any truth to support it.
  Perhaps you have a friend who makes "boxed cake" too?  Either way the truth is that you are being untruthful with yourself and unfair to your friend by not allowing her to be real, and to need help with the issues she has in her life.  Maybe it is a sign that you just need to get to know her better.  Perhaps you can take her out to lunch or tea and listen.  Seek to be her friend with eyes that truly see.  You may have been blind to her hurts and struggles because you were too busy seeing her only through the eyes of comparison. It is my experience that many of these "perfect" ladies feel a little isolated because they need to have others show a great deal of interest before they open their struggles up for discussion.  So, take your focus off yourself.   Then, Love and Service can come into your heart, leaving no room for Envy.