While unloading the bottomless dishwasher, that in our home hardly has time to stop and catch its breath, I had a moment of self-honesty this weekend. We have teams assigned to take turns unloading the dishwasher, but being true children, they seldom notice when it needs to be unloaded without help. So here I was doing someone's chore, assigned to them to help lighten my load, instead of telling them to do their chore. WHY? What motivates me to quietly do the chore, rather than ask those who are responsible to do it? I realized that I hate to tell them, more than I hate to be overtaxed. I fear becoming a nag. Nagging has to be one of the most unbecoming feminine qualities to me. So, to avoid nagging, or what I perceive to be nagging, I not only allow myself to become burdened, but I neglect my daughter's training in household chores.
All this played through my mind while I continued to empty the beast of all the clean silverware and cooking utensils. I began to think about the true goal in my training the girls to run a home. Did I really want them to just be able to click of things on a list, or did I want them to open their eyes and begin to take notice of what needed to be done, and to meet that need. Who doesn't want that kind of player on their team, right? But how do you TRAIN someone to take the initiative to help? That is the hard part. Then an idea came to mind and I called the family together to make the announcement.
"Hear Ye, Hear Ye...I have discovered that I hate to ask you to do your chores, so much so that I fail you by doing them for you. It helps me greatly to know that you are taking charge of your area by seeing that it needs to be done, and doing it. So, if you see a need, like unloading the dishwasher, and you know it is your team's turn to unload, come and ask me if the dishwasher is clean, and if it is, go to it. Then I will give extra Wii time to any team that takes that extra initiative." The idea sounded grand, and exciting, and I was proud for speaking my needs more clearly. However, it is Tuesday, and I have yet to see one team be so motivated as to take me up on my offer given to them on Saturday. Hmm, maybe not so brilliant an idea after all.
Regardless, I do want to make it a goal to encourage and reward initiative in my children's training. Any suggestions as to how to accomplish this task? I am all ears!
One thing I saw at the Ronald McDonald House (my friend used to work there some) when I visited has always stuck with me. I would like to incorporate this myself, but haven't done it yet. They had a magnet with a hook on it and a laminated piece of paper hanging from it. One side said "clean" and one side said "dirty". They had so many people coming in and out to work and volunteer, along with several dishwashers in the kitchen, that it just made it easier for people to know. Made sense to me. There have been so many times that I've wished I had that sign up on my dishwasher! I hope that'll help : ).
ReplyDeleteI think the "hear ye, hear ye" part will stick with them. Give it time.
ReplyDelete;)
Our church does character training. A few months ago they introduced "initiative" to the kids during childrens' church. They defined it as "seeing what needs to be done, and then doing it-without being asked". They made it fun, presented skits, practiced demonstrating initiative etc. Then they gave the parents a packet with some info and post-it-notes. Each post-it-note had a capital "I" written on it. The children took home the post-it-notes, and whenever they took initiative on a chore,project,or act of kindness, they were to write their name on the post-it, and stick it to the item (if they emptied the dishwasher, then they would write their name on the post-it and then stick it to the dishwasher etc). At the end of the day, the parent tallies the I's for each child, then at the end of the week, and then again at the end of the month. The winner at the end of the month, received a big treat from the church. It was a way to promote initiative training (and hopefully BUILD a habit, by doing it for so long), and to reward a winner. The parents could reward the children daily or weekly too, at home if they wished. You could do this, and adapt it for your girls Cathlyn. You could either do the names individually and see who has this character trait very well developed, see who needs LOTS of practice etc, or you could have them do the I's and write their team name on the post-its. I loved doing it with Hannah and Sammy, and I think I just might go back and revisit this "game" one day in the near future. Hope it helps a little. I love your blog! Keep it coming!
ReplyDeleteStacy Ruska