The Picky Eater Strikes Again

 A difficult lesson was dealt to our three year old last night.  She decided she wasn't so fond of the dinner on her plate before her, so she chose to spend her time in a more palatable way, by making the rest of the family laugh.  Unfortunately for her, that choice landed her a prime seat at the table all by her lonesome once everyone had cleared away their dishes.  This might not have been so terrible a punishment had it not been for the puppet show her two older sisters were putting on for the family right after dinner.  The girls had really made it a first-class affair with posters around the house to advertise the evening's performance.  Not only that, but they were charging admission, and offering snacks during the intermissions (there were two).  Needless to say, there was a buzz of excitement among the other three siblings in anticipation for the evening's activity.
  But, not for the three year old.  Although warned several times that she would not be able to go to the show without finishing her food, she still stalled and, I suspect, secretly hoped she would be given a special grace to attend the show and THEN finish her food.  It was hard to see her fall into desperate tears as we watched all three sections of the show without her.  At each intermission we encouraged her to finish quickly so that she could come see the next act.  She would rally and tell us how she was going to finish, but wouldn't put that excitement into action and was truly crestfallen when she realized she missed the whole thing...and by just a few bites, too.
  Several times we had to explain to her that she had chosen her fate that night.  By refusing to eat in a timely manner, she alone was responsible for her choice to miss out on the puppet show.  Such a hard lesson, but one that we hope will stick with her and motivate her to action in the future.
  We have had a few picky eaters in the family, and have found that all our kids went through various stages of picky-ness at different ages.  The standard Zwemke policy is: "If you do not eat this food tonight, then you will see it again in the morning"...and so forth, until the child decides it is a good idea to eat the food. (a very few times this has lasted almost a 24 hour period...we do give them a glass of milk or so, but that's it...it's never gone past that.) Sometimes I heat the food up again, but if I am busy, I don't.
  We do recognize that people all have a few foods that they REALLY dislike.  Honestly, Ryan and I have a few things we don't eat as well.  So I do give some allowances for having a particular distaste for an item.  We generally ask them to take one or two "no-thank-you" bites of something new that they may not take to at first.  But if it is a down right refusal, accompanied with complaints about the meal, showing a great amount of ungratefulness, it comes down to the "this is the next thing you are going to eat, and nothing else until you do" policy.
  Sounds tough, but there is no way I am opening up a private restaurant to serve each person an individualized meal every time we eat.  It's unrealistic, and it doesn't prepare our children to show kindness and respect when we are visiting at another family's home and they are served something that they do not care for.  It is an important social grace to know how to show gratefulness for a meal, even if it is not your favorite.  And these social graces and strengths of character, are practiced and learned at home.